such an unfair world.......

..when a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment.
when a woman talks dirty to a man its £1.50 a minute !!

the other day i bought myself some walking boots and a little rucksack, and went up the lake district.
walked for 5 miles and sat on a stone, walked for another five miles and stopped to admire the view,
walked a bit more and had a flask of coffee, walked another 5 miles and had a sandwich then i walked
another............sorry im rambling.

a womans dead body was found this morning with sperm in her eyes.
the police said she probably saw her killer coming.

My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the shower.

I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally."

She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!"

"Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."

My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the shower.

I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally."

She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!"

"Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."

A woman had just got out of the shower in the nude, then the doorbell rings. It's a man.
"Who is it?" she asks.
"The blind man", replies the man.
So the woman opens the door with one hand and reaches for her purse with the other. When she turned to the man he was grinning and she saw he was carrying a large package in his arms.
"You can see!" exclaims the woman.
"Yeah", replies the man. "And mighty pretty too. Now, where do you want me to put these blinds?"

boon boom