" ONE OF THE WORST DAYS IN MY LIFE "

Link
http://www.annisabraham.co.uk/news/


" ONE OF THE WORST DAYS IN MY LIFE "

When you are sat in a room with 12 people who were hand picked by the club as so called fans leaders and told by club staff that unless we accept the change of colour then this club will cease trading within months, I can tell you that you go through the worst emotions you will ever feel, other than experiencing anything in your private family life, it really was the worse feeling I have ever had for something I love.

To be told and feel that you would be responsible for the death of our football club is something I hope I never experience again or anybody else ever has to go through, no matter what sort of person you are I can, from experience, tell you that your mind goes into overdrive, you panic, feel fear, worry, scared.

I left that room not thinking straight, believing there was no other option than to accept what we were told in that room at the stadium and should we continue with our stance of 'we want to keep the blue and tell Vincent Tan to stick his investment where the sun don't shine' because believe me that is what the majority in the room were saying , so don't ever think we just rolled over without a fight.

It was a fight that in truth we could not win, would you want to be one of a handful of people to ultimately face all Cardiff City fans and say 'we told Tan to stick his money' and be responsible for the death of our club, I couldn't do that and I am not ashamed to say I caved in through fear of losing the club.

Some in the room decided to walk away, I respect their stance on that but that is not something I wanted to do, I decided from the word go I would reluctantly swallow a very bitter pill to hopefully safeguard the future of the club, I wanted and still want a debt free club, it has never been about Premier League success for myself but for a debt free club.

From the two meetings that took place on the Tuesday and Thursday started a series of phone calls between Alan Whiteley and myself, I was commended by Whiteley for my balanced view on the meetings and during a call on the following Monday morning, I pleaded with the then chief executive to at least convince Tan to restore our club badge, first I had to convince Whiteley on the reasons why and after a lengthy chat I did just that and Alan said he would take my argument to Tan, he called me later that day to say that Tan is considering restoring the badge and he would have a definite answer in a day or so.

At that time there were death threats being made via social media against Tan and his children, there were threats of harm against the owner and his family, I went public along with others to appeal for calm, those threats went too far and were unnecessary.

Obviously the badge never got changed and I honestly don't know if I was used to try and keep people calm or if Whiteley ever did have the conversation with Tan about the badge, I guess we will never know but I was trying regardless.

We have never given up the hope of a return to blue and have since that day lobbied the club to bring about the change, we have not backtracked or changed our minds we have continued to do what we set out to do.

Vincent Tan pledged to convert his debt to equity once Langston was settled, in May 2012 we were told it was days away, that was simply not true, I can say that with authority as a result of Alan Whiteley asking me to pass on offers to Sam Hammam for the settlement of the Langston debt, that was another episode I didn't know if I wanted to get involved but it was said 'you got the ear of Sam, maybe you can help', I felt privileged to be asked but thought it was also laughable, I am a construction foreman and nothing more.

But again if I could play in part in helping this club become debt free then I felt it was the right thing to do.

We are £100m further in debt than we were 2 years ago and for somebody whose stance has always been about a debt free club, I fear that unless the debt is converted to shares as was promised then my fear of the club going to the wall has multiplied, we cannot sustain this level debt with or without Tan's money, we have to bring the debt levels down and live within our means but if we carry on as we are then we are truly screwed I believe.

Tan will not be around forever and if he leaves without converting then how will this club be able to trade with those debts should he call in his loans.

Simon Lim said to me on Wednesday 'why would Vincent turn his loans to shares when he is facing protests from the fans?' My response was that part of the reason he is facing opposition is because he has not converted them.

If tan converts and gives the fans back the club we deserve then I am sure we can be successful and in turn so could he.

When you are sat in a room with 12 people who were hand picked by the club as so called fans leaders and told by club staff that unless we accept the change of colour then this club will cease trading within months, I can tell you that you go through the worst emotions you will ever feel, other than experiencing anything in your private family life, it really was the worse feeling I have ever had for something I love.

To be told and feel that you would be responsible for the death of our football club is something I hope I never experience again or anybody else ever has to go through, no matter what sort of person you are I can, from experience, tell you that your mind goes into overdrive, you panic, feel fear, worry, scared.

I left that room not thinking straight, believing there was no other option than to accept what we were told in that room at the stadium and should we continue with our stance of 'we want to keep the blue and tell Vincent Tan to stick his investment where the sun don't shine' because believe me that is what the majority in the room were saying , so don't ever think we just rolled over without a fight.

It was a fight that in truth we could not win, would you want to be one of a handful of people to ultimately face all Cardiff City fans and say 'we told Tan to stick his money' and be responsible for the death of our club, I couldn't do that and I am not ashamed to say I caved in through fear of losing the club.

Some in the room decided to walk away, I respect their stance on that but that is not something I wanted to do, I decided from the word go I would reluctantly swallow a very bitter pill to hopefully safeguard the future of the club, I wanted and still want a debt free club, it has never been about Premier League success for myself but for a debt free club.

From the two meetings that took place on the Tuesday and Thursday started a series of phone calls between Alan Whiteley and myself, I was commended by Whiteley for my balanced view on the meetings and during a call on the following Monday morning, I pleaded with the then chief executive to at least convince Tan to restore our club badge, first I had to convince Whiteley on the reasons why and after a lengthy chat I did just that and Alan said he would take my argument to Tan, he called me later that day to say that Tan is considering restoring the badge and he would have a definite answer in a day or so.

At that time there were death threats being made via social media against Tan and his children, there were threats of harm against the owner and his family, I went public along with others to appeal for calm, those threats went too far and were unnecessary.

Obviously the badge never got changed and I honestly don't know if I was used to try and keep people calm or if Whiteley ever did have the conversation with Tan about the badge, I guess we will never know but I was trying regardless.

We have never given up the hope of a return to blue and have since that day lobbied the club to bring about the change, we have not backtracked or changed our minds we have continued to do what we set out to do.

Vincent Tan pledged to convert his debt to equity once Langston was settled, in May 2012 we were told it was days away, that was simply not true, I can say that with authority as a result of Alan Whiteley asking me to pass on offers to Sam Hammam for the settlement of the Langston debt, that was another episode I didn't know if I wanted to get involved but it was said 'you got the ear of Sam, maybe you can help', I felt privileged to be asked but thought it was also laughable, I am a construction foreman and nothing more.

But again if I could play in part in helping this club become debt free then I felt it was the right thing to do.

We are £100m further in debt than we were 2 years ago and for somebody whose stance has always been about a debt free club, I fear that unless the debt is converted to shares as was promised then my fear of the club going to the wall has multiplied, we cannot sustain this level debt with or without Tan's money, we have to bring the debt levels down and live within our means but if we carry on as we are then we are truly screwed I believe.

Tan will not be around forever and if he leaves without converting then how will this club be able to trade with those debts should he call in his loans.

Simon Lim said to me on Wednesday 'why would Vincent turn his loans to shares when he is facing protests from the fans?' My response was that part of the reason he is facing opposition is because he has not converted them.

If tan converts and gives the fans back the club we deserve then I am sure we can be successful and in turn so could he.

Decision should have never been out to 'fans leaders' . Should have been a vote of season tickets holders .

They refused to put it out to the season tickets a straight yes or a no. I agree with you though

When you are sat in a room with 12 people who were hand picked by the club as so called fans leaders and told by club staff that unless we accept the change of colour then this club will cease trading within months, I can tell you that you go through the worst emotions you will ever feel, other than experiencing anything in your private family life, it really was the worse feeling I have ever had for something I love.

To be told and feel that you would be responsible for the death of our football club is something I hope I never experience again or anybody else ever has to go through, no matter what sort of person you are I can, from experience, tell you that your mind goes into overdrive, you panic, feel fear, worry, scared.

I left that room not thinking straight, believing there was no other option than to accept what we were told in that room at the stadium and should we continue with our stance of 'we want to keep the blue and tell Vincent Tan to stick his investment where the sun don't shine' because believe me that is what the majority in the room were saying , so don't ever think we just rolled over without a fight.

It was a fight that in truth we could not win, would you want to be one of a handful of people to ultimately face all Cardiff City fans and say 'we told Tan to stick his money' and be responsible for the death of our club, I couldn't do that and I am not ashamed to say I caved in through fear of losing the club.

Some in the room decided to walk away, I respect their stance on that but that is not something I wanted to do, I decided from the word go I would reluctantly swallow a very bitter pill to hopefully safeguard the future of the club, I wanted and still want a debt free club, it has never been about Premier League success for myself but for a debt free club.

From the two meetings that took place on the Tuesday and Thursday started a series of phone calls between Alan Whiteley and myself, I was commended by Whiteley for my balanced view on the meetings and during a call on the following Monday morning, I pleaded with the then chief executive to at least convince Tan to restore our club badge, first I had to convince Whiteley on the reasons why and after a lengthy chat I did just that and Alan said he would take my argument to Tan, he called me later that day to say that Tan is considering restoring the badge and he would have a definite answer in a day or so.

At that time there were death threats being made via social media against Tan and his children, there were threats of harm against the owner and his family, I went public along with others to appeal for calm, those threats went too far and were unnecessary.

Obviously the badge never got changed and I honestly don't know if I was used to try and keep people calm or if Whiteley ever did have the conversation with Tan about the badge, I guess we will never know but I was trying regardless.

We have never given up the hope of a return to blue and have since that day lobbied the club to bring about the change, we have not backtracked or changed our minds we have continued to do what we set out to do.

Vincent Tan pledged to convert his debt to equity once Langston was settled, in May 2012 we were told it was days away, that was simply not true, I can say that with authority as a result of Alan Whiteley asking me to pass on offers to Sam Hammam for the settlement of the Langston debt, that was another episode I didn't know if I wanted to get involved but it was said 'you got the ear of Sam, maybe you can help', I felt privileged to be asked but thought it was also laughable, I am a construction foreman and nothing more.

But again if I could play in part in helping this club become debt free then I felt it was the right thing to do.

We are £100m further in debt than we were 2 years ago and for somebody whose stance has always been about a debt free club, I fear that unless the debt is converted to shares as was promised then my fear of the club going to the wall has multiplied, we cannot sustain this level debt with or without Tan's money, we have to bring the debt levels down and live within our means but if we carry on as we are then we are truly screwed I believe.

Tan will not be around forever and if he leaves without converting then how will this club be able to trade with those debts should he call in his loans.

Simon Lim said to me on Wednesday 'why would Vincent turn his loans to shares when he is facing protests from the fans?' My response was that part of the reason he is facing opposition is because he has not converted them.

If tan converts and gives the fans back the club we deserve then I am sure we can be successful and in turn so could he.

Decision should have never been out to 'fans leaders' . Should have been a vote of season tickets holders .

I believe the club knew that a vote by season ticket holders would have gone against their hope for change, speaking to 12 people face to face things can be said in a certain way to manipulate the situation but putting it in writing and making it public to everyone would have proved very difficult if not impossible.

But I do agree with you.

I totally sympathise with the situation you and others were in at the time of the rebrand being pushed through. It was nothing short of blackmail.

You were, and are, dealing with a businessman who has no focus other than getting his way, with little compromise.

You hint that maybe you were used for your respected status among many. I think this is spot on. They knew that a degree of calm was needed and people like you could stabilise a volatile situation.

My worry is the mounting debt and the delays in debt conversion.

Thanks off this real insight into your experience. Certainly not one I would like to replicate!

i presume this is saying it was red or dead? but i wouldn't have wanted to be put in position you and others was put in by tan, was very little choice for you.

Carl - I feel the same and the first part of the article was spot on.

However I do have to take issue with your figures.

When the Malaysians got involved the 'book debt was £70m (check the accounts for May 2009) - so i don't see how you can calculate they have increased by £100m. Especially given the figure was £118m in June.

These figures include all provisions and accruals shown in the accounts.

Are you saying they have increased by £50m despite all the Premiership money in the last 11 months ?


Even IF the £140m figure being bandied about for Tan's investment is true (he recently said he was owed £70-£80m) -and don't forget £15m of his investment is in shares (so not debt) then given other debts are now minimal then the £125m which would be left as 'loans' it's still nowhere near the £170m for the figure of £100m additional debt to be true.

I totally sympathise with the situation you and others were in at the time of the rebrand being pushed through. It was nothing short of blackmail.

The club have been clever here by using the fans leaders and firing the blackmail arrow at them. Whatever your opinions of these fans leaders they are as passionate about the club as any of us so some of us need to be put in their shoes and be honest about how they would have acted and felt. Perhaps we would all be in agreement.

I had my own opinions of the future of the club then and most accuse me of thinking outside the box. That is too risks to contemplate. I can't prove why I thought like that just like my adversairies cant prove why they think opposiste. The club hold the key to all our questions and they have only handed out the answers to suit their own agendas.

The ones who were commissioned to do the blackmailing I ask the question how come they have all been paid up or just about too?

Carl - I feel the same and the first part of the article was spot on.

However I do have to take issue with your figures.

When the Malaysians got involved the 'book debt was £70m (check the accounts for May 2009) - so i don't see how you can calculate they have increased by £100m. Especially given the figure was £118m in June.

These figures include all provisions and accruals shown in the accounts.

Are you saying they have increased by £50m despite all the Premiership money in the last 11 months ?


Even IF the £140m figure being bandied about for Tan's investment is true (he recently said he was owed £70-£80m) -and don't forget £15m of his investment is in shares (so not debt) then given other debts are now minimal then the £125m which would be left as 'loans' it's still nowhere near the £170m for the figure of £100m additional debt to be true.

Tim, if my memory serves me correctly in May 2012 the club stated we were £80m in debt of which nearly £40m was what Tan had put in but was turning to shares, so if we take away Tan's commitment to turn his loans into equity we are left with approximately £40m.

Add on the £100m investment to that £40m and the figure is what I am talking about.

Mehmet Dalman is on record as stating Vincent Tan has put in £140m to date.

I assume that is his £100m investment plus settling the other £40m

Carl - I feel the same and the first part of the article was spot on.

However I do have to take issue with your figures.

When the Malaysians got involved the 'book debt was £70m (check the accounts for May 2009) - so i don't see how you can calculate they have increased by £100m. Especially given the figure was £118m in June.

These figures include all provisions and accruals shown in the accounts.

Are you saying they have increased by £50m despite all the Premiership money in the last 11 months ?


Even IF the £140m figure being bandied about for Tan's investment is true (he recently said he was owed £70-£80m) -and don't forget £15m of his investment is in shares (so not debt) then given other debts are now minimal then the £125m which would be left as 'loans' it's still nowhere near the £170m for the figure of £100m additional debt to be true.

Tim, if my memory serves me correctly in May 2012 the club stated we were £80m in debt of which nearly £40m was what Tan had put in but was turning to shares, so if we take away Tan's commitment to turn his loans into equity we are left with approximately £40m.

Add on the £100m investment to that £40m and the figure is what I am talking about.

Mehmet Dalman is on record as stating Vincent Tan has put in £140m to date.

I assume that is his £100m investment plus settling the other £40m

I think you've double counted that £40m Carl.

Tan might have put in £100m , but £40m of that has gone to paying off other debtors. So that leaves us with £60m - part of which has been put in as extra shares (last Autumn he actually bought another 70m shares - appx £10m).

Sorry to be pedantic and it doesn't change the fact that our debt has significantly increased in the last 2 years.



Although... there is the small matter of £50m of playing assets we have now and £60m of parachute income guaranteed to us now, plus another 5500 seats.

If the rebrand is reversed NOW and a decent sum is secured for the top players and a large chunk of the remaining debt is turned to equity we could STILL have a sustainable football club.

I'm an eternal optimist

Carl - I feel the same and the first part of the article was spot on.

However I do have to take issue with your figures.


When the Malaysians got involved the 'book debt was £70m (check the accounts for May 2009) - so i don't see how you can calculate they have increased by £100m. Especially given the figure was £118m in June.

These figures include all provisions and accruals shown in the accounts.

Are you saying they have increased by £50m despite all the Premiership money in the last 11 months ?


Even IF the £140m figure being bandied about for Tan's investment is true (he recently said he was owed £70-£80m) -and don't forget £15m of his investment is in shares (so not debt) then given other debts are now minimal then the £125m which would be left as 'loans' it's still nowhere near the £170m for the figure of £100m additional debt to be true.

Tim, if my memory serves me correctly in May 2012 the club stated we were £80m in debt of which nearly £40m was what Tan had put in but was turning to shares, so if we take away Tan's commitment to turn his loans into equity we are left with approximately £40m.

Add on the £100m investment to that £40m and the figure is what I am talking about.

Mehmet Dalman is on record as stating Vincent Tan has put in £140m to date.

I assume that is his £100m investment plus settling the other £40m

I think you've double counted that £40m Carl.

Tan might have put in £100m , but £40m of that has gone to paying off other debtors. So that leaves us with £60m - part of which has been put in as extra shares (last Autumn he actually bought another 70m shares - appx £10m).

Sorry to be pedantic and it doesn't change the fact that our debt has significantly increased in the last 2 years.



Although... there is the small matter of £50m of playing assets we have now and £60m of parachute income guaranteed to us now, plus another 5500 seats.

If the rebrand is reversed NOW and a decent sum is secured for the top players and a large chunk of the remaining debt is turned to equity we could STILL have a sustainable football club.

I'm an eternal optimist

Is it not worth mentioning the stadium value. This is a huge earner alongside the football.
Its obvious Tan has big plans to develop it to full potential and considers it a large selling attraction.

Thanks for this article Carl. I hope others who accuse City fans of selling their souls and chasing glory will realise that it wasn't as simple or as black and white as that. We know this but others need to know it so we can get everyone onboard. Cheers

Thanks for this article Carl. I hope others who accuse City fans of selling their souls and chasing glory will realise that it wasn't as simple or as black and white as that. We know this but others need to know it so we can get everyone onboard. Cheers

Great reply

Thanks for this article Carl. I hope others who accuse City fans of selling their souls and chasing glory will realise that it wasn't as simple or as black and white as that. We know this but others need to know it so we can get everyone onboard. Cheers

Dave, it was a difficult time for all City fans but I really just want fans to understand what several fans went through and have been criticised for since.

I am sorry but i have supported city since 1968 As i am not seen as one of "our leaders" we had no say, some of of us support our club and are not consulted from our " leaders", that is the problem with football at present people are "picked" and the majority of regular fans are not recognised

I have read the thread and understand the arguement , however dont be foollish to not acknowledge the fans have been taken for a ride and the attempted to speak to a few was some what political manipulation , and black mail, so I dont agree with the stance the fans have to accept, surely this far too simple and theres only one winner Mr Tan......

Yes we all want a club , but lets be honest CCFC is not and i say again not the club we supported as its become a laughing stock if honest and Mr Tan has wripped the sole out of it , so as far as i am concerned he can stick his club,,,, and i like many will not renew until the club has regained its identity and colours.... and when Mr Tan stops interfering........

You can pretend we have no option but to role over, but Im of the view We have not done enough to take discredit MR Tan and show him We are CCFC and not a commercial club for him to use as a TOY...............

Thankfully Im out after the chelsea game as I can not support a club that treats fans so badly..........

Whatever the true debt figure, I believe we need Vincent Tan to keep to his word of converting his debt to shares, as that would remove the threat of future financial instability to the club immediately. The question is how is that best achieved.....is it by making him the villain of the piece and demanding an immediate return to blue??? I think that's unlikely, as it would mean a loss of face to him, and I think previous events, including the recent apologies to him from Malky and Iain Moody confirm that. I can't see an easy answer, but Mr Tan needs to be offered a solution which enables him to save face, otherwise I suspect he will walk away and leave us with a massive financial debt again. He may be prepared to compromise, although I think he will need to see signs of good faith from the fans who have been booing him. As always though, negotiations like this take time, and the most vocal fans tend also to be the most impatient...calm negotiation normally achieves the best results, if allowed sufficient time...

Carl - I feel the same and the first part of the article was spot on.

However I do have to take issue with your figures.

When the Malaysians got involved the 'book debt was £70m (check the accounts for May 2009) - so i don't see how you can calculate they have increased by £100m. Especially given the figure was £118m in June.

These figures include all provisions and accruals shown in the accounts.

Are you saying they have increased by £50m despite all the Premiership money in the last 11 months ?


Even IF the £140m figure being bandied about for Tan's investment is true (he recently said he was owed £70-£80m) -and don't forget £15m of his investment is in shares (so not debt) then given other debts are now minimal then the £125m which would be left as 'loans' it's still nowhere near the £170m for the figure of £100m additional debt to be true.

Tim, if my memory serves me correctly in May 2012 the club stated we were £80m in debt of which nearly £40m was what Tan had put in but was turning to shares, so if we take away Tan's commitment to turn his loans into equity we are left with approximately £40m.

Add on the £100m investment to that £40m and the figure is what I am talking about.

Mehmet Dalman is on record as stating Vincent Tan has put in £140m to date.

I assume that is his £100m investment plus settling the other £40m

I think you've double counted that £40m Carl.

Tan might have put in £100m , but £40m of that has gone to paying off other debtors. So that leaves us with £60m - part of which has been put in as extra shares (last Autumn he actually bought another 70m shares - appx £10m).

Sorry to be pedantic and it doesn't change the fact that our debt has significantly increased in the last 2 years.



Although... there is the small matter of £50m of playing assets we have now and £60m of parachute income guaranteed to us now, plus another 5500 seats.

If the rebrand is reversed NOW and a decent sum is secured for the top players and a large chunk of the remaining debt is turned to equity we could STILL have a sustainable football club.

I'm an eternal optimist

£50m of playing assets? Where?

You talk about "all the prem money" - you spent all the prem money.... And more in the last 11 months.

Isnt it £50m in parachute payments? £20m + £20m + £10m.

These parachute payments will stop if promoted and if innthe championship they will needed in their entirety in order to trade innthe back of the premier league fall-out.

To think you will profit from parachute payments or indeed already spent Premier League money is insanity.

I have read the thread and understand the arguement , however dont be foollish to not acknowledge the fans have been taken for a ride and the attempted to speak to a few was some what political manipulation , and black mail, so I dont agree with the stance the fans have to accept, surely this far too simple and theres only one winner Mr Tan......

Yes we all want a club , but lets be honest CCFC is not and i say again not the club we supported as its become a laughing stock if honest and Mr Tan has wripped the sole out of it , so as far as i am concerned he can stick his club,,,, and i like many will not renew until the club has regained its identity and colours.... and when Mr Tan stops interfering........

You can pretend we have no option but to role over, but Im of the view We have not done enough to take discredit MR Tan and show him We are CCFC and not a commercial club for him to use as a TOY...............

Thankfully Im out after the chelsea game as I can not support a club that treats fans so badly..........

Thank you my friend. Today's game will also be the last for my family until we get our club back.

The worst day for me was when my parents forced me to sell my Peugeot 205gti when I was 20. Gutted

Hang on a minute, didn't it cross anyone of these 12 'special' fans heads that this guy is holding the club to ransom... Basically blackmailing people to support his agenda.

I'm pretty sure alarm bells would have been ringing in my head. I mean, what kind of lunatic would threaten to dismantle a football club of over 100 years of history and divide the fan base just cos he prefers the colour red to blue.

You agreed to go along with this nutjob because it was the easier option for quick glory, end of story in my opinion.

Hang on a minute, didn't it cross anyone of these 12 'special' fans heads that this guy is holding the club to ransom... Basically blackmailing people to support his agenda.

I'm pretty sure alarm bells would have been ringing in my head. I mean, what kind of lunatic would threaten to dismantle a football club of over 100 years of history and divide the fan base just cos he prefers the colour red to blue.

You agreed to go along with this nutjob because it was the easier option for quick glory, end of story in my opinion.

Cant argue with that im afraid.

Hang on a minute, didn't it cross anyone of these 12 'special' fans heads that this guy is holding the club to ransom... Basically blackmailing people to support his agenda.

I'm pretty sure alarm bells would have been ringing in my head. I mean, what kind of lunatic would threaten to dismantle a football club of over 100 years of history and divide the fan base just cos he prefers the colour red to blue.

You agreed to go along with this nutjob because it was the easier option for quick glory, end of story in my opinion.

It was never about quick glory, it was about our club dying or being told it would die.

You needed to experience it to fully understand the emotions we went through.