A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

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A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby ealing_ayatollah » Tue May 16, 2017 8:58 pm

Given the amount of left/right debate on here of late (anybody would think there's an election going on) thought i'd share this handy article for any of our younger members... ;)

Left-wing people in the olden days

Left-wing people used to like working-class people.

Lots of left-wing people used to be working-class people. These people were known as socialists and joined trade unions.

Sometimes working-class people used to frighten left-wing people, but they pretended that they weren’t frightened and were nice to them.

Left-wing people supported working-class people, gave them money, sat in rooms with them and wore badges to show that they cared more than right-wing people, who wore ties instead of badges and didn’t care.

Nowadays

Nowadays, working-class people are bored with socialism because it hasn’t made them rich and happy.

Nowadays left-wing people are middle-class people. Working class people are a big disappointment to left-wing people.

Left wing people now think that working class people are:
a) Simple and easily led
b) Un-enlightened and susceptible to short-term pleasures
c) Terribly sad and struggling, unable to cope on their own
d) All of the above

Education is a life-long task

Left-wing people think that working-class people are unable to think for themselves and require life-long education to help them make informed decisions.

Left-wing people work tirelessly on education programmes to encourage working class people to buy expensive food and clothes and not cheap food and clothes. They are disappointed that working-class people are un-ethical.

Working-class people like to drink alcohol, have sex and eat tasty food. They do not understand that these activities are dangerous and need continuous education from left-wing people.

Working-class people need to be protected from newspapers, even though they don’t read them anymore. They are easily influenced and their happy-go-lucky ways can be turned into bigoted nasty ways. Left-wing people are needed to help them use Facebook carefully and not make mistakes.

Left-wing people like to be sad and unhappy

Many left-wing people have a very nice life, but they like to be sad. To help with this, they choose to be sad for other people. Sometimes these people are far away and sometimes they are nearby, but different to them.

In the olden days, left-wing people tried to make it better for other people. Nowadays, they like to protect them by being offended when a working-class person doesn’t behave properly.

Left-wing like to help other people by being offended on their behalf. This means that the other people can carry on with their lives and the left-wing people do all the work. This isn’t really fair, but the left-wing people seem to carry on doing it, so they must enjoy it. Despite all this effort left-wing people are still very sad.

Left-wing people care more than other people

Left-wing people care so much that they love the whole entire planet. Other people don’t care about the planet, they only care about themselves and other people that they know. This means that left-wing people have to love the planet even more, even more than they actually like other people.

Left-wing people show that they care by telling other people about how much they care. They send special “I care” signals to other people. Forwarding videos on Facebook is one way that they can show how much they care. The videos often show people far away who are living miserable lives, but pictures of cute fluffy chickens in nasty factories are considered sufficient.

Left-wing activists (see below) are very helpful. They make lots of “I care” videos which makes it quick and easy for left-wing people to send their “signals”. They do this several times throughout each day when they are not busy.

Sometimes Left-wing people are made angry by other people

Left-wing people care so much, it makes them hate people who don’t show that they care. These people are right-wing people. Left-wing people have given them a name. It is “Tory scum”. Left-wing people like to shout at the right-wing people and tell them that they are scum even when they aren’t listening.

Shouting at the Tories is another way to show that they care. Caring is very important to left-wing people.

Left-wing people care so deeply that they don’t have time for thinking and convincing. They use their precious time for shouting about caring.

Also, working-class people don’t know what left-wing people are saying, so it is helpful when they point to the right-wing people and shout “scum”. They think that working-class people do understand shouting and caring.

If you have observed someone and you are not sure if they are a left-wing person, seek their opinion on “the Tories”. If they start to shout and care, they are left-wing.

Left-wing activists are helpful

Left-wing activists are left-wing people who have an internet connection. They make the internet very loud.

Left-wing activists help other people care on the internet. They are very helpful in pointing out when people have forgotten to show that they care. They help people in many ways – watching videos, commenting on things and clicking on buttons called “start a petition”. Left-wing activists sometimes go outside their houses and meet other left-wing people and they care together and shout at the Tory scum.

Left-wing people are funny

Left-wing people have “enlightened comedians” who make jokes on “panel games”. These are broadcast on the television and BBC Radio 4.

The enlightened comedians make people laugh at right-wing people, whom they consider stupid. In the olden days, comedians made jokes about Irish people, but these comedians weren’t clever like the enlightened comedians.

Instead of the Irish people, the enlightened comedians make jokes about working-class people.

Because they care, they use special words like “Glaswegians”, “Sun readers” and “UKIP supporters”, so the working-class people will not notice.

Working-class people do funny things like drinking Monster energy drinks, eating Haribos and watching television. This is funny and the enlightened comedians are helpful because they point at them and laugh, so we know who to laugh at as well. It is very funny and we all laugh because we are enlightened too.

originally from https://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/10/a- ... under-10s/ :clap:
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A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby toryboy49 » Tue May 16, 2017 9:12 pm

ealing_ayatollah wrote:Given the amount of left/right debate on here of late (anybody would think there's an election going on) thought i'd share this handy article for any of our younger members... ;)

Left-wing people in the olden days

Left-wing people used to like working-class people.

Lots of left-wing people used to be working-class people. These people were known as socialists and joined trade unions.

Sometimes working-class people used to frighten left-wing people, but they pretended that they weren’t frightened and were nice to them.

Left-wing people supported working-class people, gave them money, sat in rooms with them and wore badges to show that they cared more than right-wing people, who wore ties instead of badges and didn’t care.

Nowadays

Nowadays, working-class people are bored with socialism because it hasn’t made them rich and happy.

Nowadays left-wing people are middle-class people. Working class people are a big disappointment to left-wing people.

Left wing people now think that working class people are:
a) Simple and easily led
b) Un-enlightened and susceptible to short-term pleasures
c) Terribly sad and struggling, unable to cope on their own
d) All of the above

Education is a life-long task

Left-wing people think that working-class people are unable to think for themselves and require life-long education to help them make informed decisions.

Left-wing people work tirelessly on education programmes to encourage working class people to buy expensive food and clothes and not cheap food and clothes. They are disappointed that working-class people are un-ethical.

Working-class people like to drink alcohol, have sex and eat tasty food. They do not understand that these activities are dangerous and need continuous education from left-wing people.

Working-class people need to be protected from newspapers, even though they don’t read them anymore. They are easily influenced and their happy-go-lucky ways can be turned into bigoted nasty ways. Left-wing people are needed to help them use Facebook carefully and not make mistakes.

Left-wing people like to be sad and unhappy

Many left-wing people have a very nice life, but they like to be sad. To help with this, they choose to be sad for other people. Sometimes these people are far away and sometimes they are nearby, but different to them.

In the olden days, left-wing people tried to make it better for other people. Nowadays, they like to protect them by being offended when a working-class person doesn’t behave properly.

Left-wing like to help other people by being offended on their behalf. This means that the other people can carry on with their lives and the left-wing people do all the work. This isn’t really fair, but the left-wing people seem to carry on doing it, so they must enjoy it. Despite all this effort left-wing people are still very sad.

Left-wing people care more than other people

Left-wing people care so much that they love the whole entire planet. Other people don’t care about the planet, they only care about themselves and other people that they know. This means that left-wing people have to love the planet even more, even more than they actually like other people.

Left-wing people show that they care by telling other people about how much they care. They send special “I care” signals to other people. Forwarding videos on Facebook is one way that they can show how much they care. The videos often show people far away who are living miserable lives, but pictures of cute fluffy chickens in nasty factories are considered sufficient.

Left-wing activists (see below) are very helpful. They make lots of “I care” videos which makes it quick and easy for left-wing people to send their “signals”. They do this several times throughout each day when they are not busy.

Sometimes Left-wing people are made angry by other people

Left-wing people care so much, it makes them hate people who don’t show that they care. These people are right-wing people. Left-wing people have given them a name. It is “Tory scum”. Left-wing people like to shout at the right-wing people and tell them that they are scum even when they aren’t listening.

Shouting at the Tories is another way to show that they care. Caring is very important to left-wing people.

Left-wing people care so deeply that they don’t have time for thinking and convincing. They use their precious time for shouting about caring.

Also, working-class people don’t know what left-wing people are saying, so it is helpful when they point to the right-wing people and shout “scum”. They think that working-class people do understand shouting and caring.

If you have observed someone and you are not sure if they are a left-wing person, seek their opinion on “the Tories”. If they start to shout and care, they are left-wing.

Left-wing activists are helpful

Left-wing activists are left-wing people who have an internet connection. They make the internet very loud.

Left-wing activists help other people care on the internet. They are very helpful in pointing out when people have forgotten to show that they care. They help people in many ways – watching videos, commenting on things and clicking on buttons called “start a petition”. Left-wing activists sometimes go outside their houses and meet other left-wing people and they care together and shout at the Tory scum.

Left-wing people are funny

Left-wing people have “enlightened comedians” who make jokes on “panel games”. These are broadcast on the television and BBC Radio 4.

The enlightened comedians make people laugh at right-wing people, whom they consider stupid. In the olden days, comedians made jokes about Irish people, but these comedians weren’t clever like the enlightened comedians.

Instead of the Irish people, the enlightened comedians make jokes about working-class people.

Because they care, they use special words like “Glaswegians”, “Sun readers” and “UKIP supporters”, so the working-class people will not notice.

Working-class people do funny things like drinking Monster energy drinks, eating Haribos and watching television. This is funny and the enlightened comedians are helpful because they point at them and laugh, so we know who to laugh at as well. It is very funny and we all laugh because we are enlightened too.

originally from https://life.spectator.co.uk/2016/10/a- ... under-10s/ :clap:

Superb
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby Wayne S » Tue May 16, 2017 10:03 pm

In order to provide equal coverage in this time of Purdah.......

I assume Andy Shaws' piece is a response to this....

https://tompride.wordpress.com/2016/03/ ... year-olds/
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby ealing_ayatollah » Tue May 16, 2017 10:25 pm

Wayne S wrote:In order to provide equal coverage in this time of Purdah.......

I assume Andy Shaws' piece is a response to this....

https://tompride.wordpress.com/2016/03/ ... year-olds/


Aye all good to have a bit of balance - I must confess that this bit made me laugh and was particularly appropriate right now...

Right-wing people like nature. They like nothing better than to spend a day in the countryside, experiencing the rich diversity of wild life that lives there before killing it and putting it on their wall.

:thumbup:
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby petesmeat » Wed May 17, 2017 7:59 am

So who do working class people vote for? Labour want to protect worker's rights, increase the minimum wage and boost public services. The Tories want to remove workers rights, freeze the minimum wage and privatise public services. Seems like a pretty easy call to me.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby dogfound » Wed May 17, 2017 9:39 am

petesmeat wrote:So who do working class people vote for? Labour want to protect worker's rights, increase the minimum wage and boost public services. The Tories want to remove workers rights, freeze the minimum wage and privatise public services. Seems like a pretty easy call to me.



truth is both parties have pledged to increase the minimum wage..which the I.F.S has advised against as it puts low paid jobs at risk.
as for wanting to privatise parts of the NHS. there are long lists of pros and cons.{ its a bit like brexit in that some people on both sides will make wild ill informed predictions but nobody knows for sure if it might be better or worse } and in fact some sectors of the NHS are already private.
not sure what your getting at regarding the tories removing workers rights.
these are dilemas for who ever wins and not straight forward.
whether it be a normal person or that bloke that cant figure out why bonanza isnt on at 6 o clock.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby Fusilier23 » Wed May 17, 2017 11:10 am

Enjoyed the original post - One thing I noticed was missing was " Left wing people like to think they are good with numbers" :D
10/01/15
The day normality was restored
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby piledriver64 » Wed May 17, 2017 11:42 am

petesmeat wrote:So who do working class people vote for? Labour want to protect worker's rights, increase the minimum wage and boost public services. The Tories want to remove workers rights, freeze the minimum wage and privatise public services. Seems like a pretty easy call to me.


Careful ! A sensible, factual, leftist post on this site won't go down too well !!

I'm no Corbyn fan but do actually like a lot of his policies so he'll get my vote because as a working class boy the Tory policies simply frighten me.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby Merlin11 » Wed May 17, 2017 12:27 pm

Right wing like to kill and pull animals apart and call it fun and enjoyment.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby Merlin11 » Wed May 17, 2017 12:40 pm

Right wing is to have a coward, a compulsive liar and a boring plank of wood as a Tory leader.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby wez1927 » Wed May 17, 2017 12:56 pm

Merlin11 wrote:Right wing like to kill and pull animals apart and call it fun and enjoyment.

What a stupid statement so labour voters dont hunt ? Ffs
CARDIFF CITY TILL I DIE !
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby dogfound » Wed May 17, 2017 2:03 pm

piledriver64 wrote:
petesmeat wrote:So who do working class people vote for? Labour want to protect worker's rights, increase the minimum wage and boost public services. The Tories want to remove workers rights, freeze the minimum wage and privatise public services. Seems like a pretty easy call to me.


Careful ! A sensible, factual, leftist post on this site won't go down too well !!

I'm no Corbyn fan but do actually like a lot of his policies so he'll get my vote because as a working class boy the Tory policies simply frighten me.



you do understand what factual means?
it doesnt mean just say any old rubbish because your a working class boy so must vote labour and the real facts dont fit.
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby Merlin11 » Wed May 17, 2017 4:01 pm

84% of the British public are against fox hunting. Dogmess and wez mess need to read a bit more before they post ignorant rants
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Re: A handy guide to Left-wing people for the under 10s

Postby petesmeat » Thu May 18, 2017 9:25 am

dogfound wrote:
petesmeat wrote:So who do working class people vote for? Labour want to protect worker's rights, increase the minimum wage and boost public services. The Tories want to remove workers rights, freeze the minimum wage and privatise public services. Seems like a pretty easy call to me.



truth is both parties have pledged to increase the minimum wage..which the I.F.S has advised against as it puts low paid jobs at risk.
as for wanting to privatise parts of the NHS. there are long lists of pros and cons.{ its a bit like brexit in that some people on both sides will make wild ill informed predictions but nobody knows for sure if it might be better or worse } and in fact some sectors of the NHS are already private.
not sure what your getting at regarding the tories removing workers rights.
these are dilemas for who ever wins and not straight forward.
whether it be a normal person or that bloke that cant figure out why bonanza isnt on at 6 o clock.


I mean stuff like this:

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/ju ... ening-them

May doesn't give a monkeys about you, or your welfare, as long as she gets your vote.
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