JOKE THREAD FOR TONIGHT

Who named Trojan condoms?

The Trojan horse entered through the city gates, broke open and loads of little guys came out and fucked everyone's day up.

Doesn't fill me with confidence.

I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are."

Denying it I said, "I'm not drunk."

She said, "Yes you are."

I said, "No I'm f*cking not."

She said, "Can you tell the time?"

I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not f*cking drunk."

I bumped into Sian Massey in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you officiated at the Liverpool v Wolves game? I mean, two Sky Sports pundits were..."

"Yeah yeah," she interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know."

So I explained the offside rule.

I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds. My friend's a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning. He's suing for funfair dismissal ........