Friday joke thread.

At a local derby between Arsenal and Spurs last season, a spectator. suddenly found himself in the thick of dozens of flying bottles.

'There's nothing to worry about, lad,' said the elderly chap standing next to him. 'It's like the bombs during the war. You won't get hit unless the bottle's got your name on it.'

'That's just what I'm worried about,' said the fan. 'My name's Johnny Walker'

Well this isnt a joke, more of a sick comment my other half just said. She was reading through the horses for the grand national and said "you gotta bet on tidal bay if you're Japanese". Never knew she was capable of saying such a thing.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Don't know why Fulham fans are complaining. I'm sure their statue was cheaper than the £50m Chelsea paid for theirs.

im fed up of people on here, phoning, texting, and emailing me, after my dog savaged a swansea fan to death,,,,, hes not for sale