JOKE SUNDAY

You should have seen the bird I smashed last night, It was brilliant.

I don't know where I'd be without my liquid nitrogen and pigeon catcher.

I like to nibble, lick and suck until I gets to the white stuff inside.

Cream eggs...how do you like to eat yours?

I sacked my midget gardener yesterday for being insulting towards me.

He was always having a little dig.

Camilla is so excited for the Royal wedding, she has been given a crucial task for the day.

To pull the wedding carriage to the Cathedral.

Fair play they were all total Shite Chief please try harder

These Sergio Ramos jokes are going over the top

In bed with the wife when she asked if I fancied a 69 and she looked shocked when I said no.


"Last time you got rasberry sauce and hundreds and thousands everywere so forget it" I said.

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alleyway....

One of them was a salted.

My wife found naked pictures of a woman on my phone.
She said, "Who's this f*cking fat slag? She's revolting. You into chubby chasing are you? I'm going to ring her and tell her she's a fat c**t"
I said, "But .."
She said, "Shut the f**k up .. it's ringing ..... er .. why can I hear my phone?"

Chief they are even worse Shite!! Please give up before i have to become offensive