THE MRS AS JUST!!!!!

Asked me to handcuff her to the bed and do anything i want to!!!! So i handcuffed her to the bed and fooked off to the pub!!!!!

.............I'll be there in 5 days.

:lol: .............I'll be there in 5 days.

Come on, give us another one .........where's Nukes when you need him.

I went to the doctors the other day with a strawberry on my head, The doctor took one look and advised me to rub some cream on it!!!!

A rIGHT C--T walked into my local earlier, very agressively said to the barman, pint of lager now... barman replys, sorry we don't serve fannys in here,,,,

At the bar today I asked for 4 pints, 3 glasses of wine, 2 vodka red bulls 3 packets of crisps and a whisky.

The bar man said would you like a tray?

I said f**k off! I have enough to carry as it is !!

Thinking I was doing the right thing,

I went and had my hair shaved off for charity.

It was a little strange to get use to at first and a little itchy,

but I thought to myself "what the f**k it's all for a good cause".

And besides... it does make my knob look bigger!