SATURDAY JOKE THREAD

As our resident comedian is on a few days rest back home in Sheffield i thought i would share some of the jokes i have heard this week.

I went to a disco last night and the dj played the twist so i did the twist he then played the bump so i did the bump he then played come on eileen, i got thrown out soon after

More to come later

A man bumps into his ex wife's new husband and asks, "How's the 2nd hand fanny?" The man replies, "It's great thanks, After the first 3 inches it's brand new!"

my younger brother asked me where the clitoris was on a woman..at the front or back
i explained that it was on her frontal area...he looked shocked and a bit sick so i
asked him why???
he said " I THINK I BEEN SUCKING MY GIRLFRIENDS PILES FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS "

some good ones there.

Our resident comedian may be away, but it didn't stop him texting jokes at 7 this morning ...lucky i was in work

A man walks in to a pharmacy and asked the assistant where the tampax is, the assistant shows him. The man goes back to the counter with a bag of cotton wool balls and a roll of loo roll. The assistant said "I thought you wanted tampax?" The man replied "well I asked my wife to get me some fags earlier and she came back with a pouch of tobacco let's see how she likes rolling her own !!"

An attractive woman walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre.
So the barman gave her one.