Cardiff City Forum



A forum for all things Cardiff City

Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:10 pm

Any of you guys got any tips on how to lose weight I'm not really into gyms but if required . I just want to lose y gutt and to tone up a bit

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:18 pm

i send u a foto of my mother in law
u not get off toilet it frighten shit out of u
soon loose weight then

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:19 pm

lewispenarth wrote:Any of you guys got any tips on how to lose weight I'm not really into gyms but if required . I just want to lose y gutt and to tone up a bit


cut back on the food mate only eat what you need to, that worked for me, also dont set impossible tasks regarding what weight you should be at.

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:21 pm

Curcuits is pretty good, as is running/cycling. Diet is the most important thing - porridge, wholemeal bread, plenty of protein (chicken beans etc), pasta, rice. Complex carbs (such as porrige) keep you full for longer (as they release energy slowly) so cut down snacking. A good diet and any sort of excerise will see you right, eat well all week and just have a blow out day for the footy on a saturday (within reason).

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:23 pm

How long would I have to jog before I can see difference. Also any advise on loosing the manboobs lol

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:28 pm

Jogging - for weight loss at a gym the machines put you on a programme where you go slow for 5 mns then sprint full pelt for a couple of minutes, raising your heart rate will burn of fat, how practical this is in the street I dint know! Moobs is mostly down to diet (including beer usually). But simple pushups ar really good for the chest to tighten the muscles, othewise using dumbells and doing chest raises in the gym also works. 6 weeks of curcuits x2 a week with a decent diet and you will notice a big difference.

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:28 pm

lewispenarth wrote:How long would I have to jog before I can see difference. Also any advise on loosing the manboobs lol


seeing any difference is going to depend on your size now, larger people would lose a greater amount quicker than a lighter person in most cases.And for losing weight i wouldnt go for distance but try short distances jogging but incluude sprint bursts.

If you set impossible targets youll get fecked off and knock it on the head.

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:31 pm

I eat and eat, but am Always on the go,but since this site started Ive put on Weight :lol:

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:38 pm

Wanking your way to weight loss

By Masuo Kamiyama
Contributing Writer
June 7, 2004

My gosh, nearly six months have gone by since the year-end party season, but you haven't done anything to trim off those excess pounds. As a result, your belt is running out of notches and your bottom is starting to sag over the edge of chairs at the restaurants where you stuff your face.
It's time, Dr. Hideo Yamanaka tells Weekly Playboy (June 15), for guys to start doing something about it. Yamanaka, director of the Toranomon-Hibiya Clinic, offers a weight reduction that he's convinced guarantees results.

Follow his "masturbation diet" regimen, and you'll soon be able to squeeze back into those hip-hugging jeans and impressing the gals with your svelte figure.

"Ejaculation raises the basic metabolism of muscles and consumes calories," the doctor says. "With fewer calories, subcutaneous fat is consumed, and making it easier to trim down.

"But," the doctor goes on, "there's no point in ordinary activity. An ordinary young person would have to do it 100 more times a month for it to have any effect."

Gosh, says Weekly Playboy. That's three times a day he's talking about.

"Actully more like four or five, if you're really serious," remarks Yamauchi. "For each 2 kilos of body weight, you'd need to squeeze out 2 liters of semen."

Gomesu Yamada, a journalist covering the pink trade, wags his head in agreement.

"It's hard enough just to spurt so often, but to get the full benefits of aerobic exercise, it's necessary for the process to be maintained for at least 15 minutes before ejaculation occurs. We have named this activity 'Onani-bics.' "

"Onani" a common Japanese term for masturbation refers to Onan, the Biblical figure who was destroyed for "spilling his seed on the ground."

Gomesu claims he has knowledge of people who have actually managed to slim down through a regular regimen of Onanibics.

"Guys who made their motto, 'At least one good tug a day' have managed to lose as much as 4 kilograms in a week," he grins.

Rather than indulge in boring generalizations, Weekly Playboy then lists the average pulse rates and calories consumed while combining masturbation with various forms of exercise. "Abdominal muscle onanism" (sit-ups), for example, if performed for 15 minutes, will consume 61 kilocalories; "back strength onanism" (reverse sit ups), just 22 kilocalories; push-ups, 95 kilocalories; deep knee squats, 89 kilocalories; pole climbing, 72 kilocalories; and so-called "Ona-hole jogging" (an activity obviously not for beginners), 204 kilocalories.

A tubby 55-year-old writer named Koyamamyama, who tips the scales at 100 kilograms, had an even better idea. Deciding he might as well have some fun in the process, he headed for red-light districts around he capital. First he dropped in at a porno video parlor in Shinjuku, where DVDs (and hand play) can be enjoyed in private viewing rooms (cost: 1,300 yen). His next stop was a peep show, where, again in a private cubicle, he could watch a young nude girl feign her own efforts at, er, weight reduction (admission: 2,000 yen). This was followed by a visit to an "image club," where the climax of the session included a climax (5,000 yen). After several other workout sessions in Ikebukuro and Ueno, he ended his session at a "roshutsu kurabu" (exposure club) in Shibuya, where, for a layout of 15,000 yen, a young lady joined him in a private cubicle, disrobed, and energetically masturbated herself to orgasm --- while he did the same.

These efforts during a total of four hours of sexual activities came to 43,800 yen, consumption tax included. Did they help? Slightly. Koyamamyama's weight declined from 104.2 kilograms to 102.6. His muscle-to-fat ratio improved from 31.2 percent to 31.8; and his overall body fat ratio fell 0.8 percent.

Well then, guys, how about it, exhorts Weekly Playboy. If you want to get in shape for this summer, then let's give it a good tug! Make that several tugs!

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:40 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0kN1_8OEvA

These are usually very effective!

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:36 pm

andi_cardiff wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0kN1_8OEvA

These are usually very effective!


I can confirm this theory doesnt work :lol:

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:44 pm

Forever Blue wrote:I eat and eat, but am Always on the go,but since this site started Ive put on Weight :lol:
eat
and eat f**k thats a statement :lol: :lol: :lol: even i cant keep up ;) :lol:

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:45 pm

i lost 4 stone in 6 months, through eating less and running!!

couldn't run more than a 100 yards when i started out, then i was running 6-8 miles every other night easy, passed all my tests for the marines and 2 weeks away from joining i buggered my leg up :cry:

all i can say is run run run! weight flew off matey, burn more calories than you eat

Re: Weight

Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:01 pm

Ben wrote:i lost 4 stone in 6 months, through eating less and running!!

couldn't run more than a 100 yards when i started out, then i was running 6-8 miles every other night easy, passed all my tests for the marines and 2 weeks away from joining i buggered my leg up :cry:

all i can say is run run run! weight flew off matey, burn more calories than you eat


same here lost it predominantly through running, lost a stone in a month, i'm lucky though even carrying a few pounds i was still good looking enough to prove popular with the ladyfoke. :lol: Except Baz goes and says he wants to use my avater to guard his frigging house!!!!