"ONE LINE JOKES"

Any Please, to Cheers us All up

A dwarf came into my local wearing a t shirt saying i hate pakis.

I thought 'thats a little racist'..........

I've done a good job - Peter Ridsdale

I woke up this morning with a bald head; apparently the wife misunderstood me when i asked her to shave her tw*t.

I fostered a little kid yesterday.

Got him on the head with all four cans!

i woke up at the crack of dawn this morning

cut my arse shaving this morning. Then stuck a plaster on the fooking mirror!

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

cardiffs new owners are hoping to sign mr messi this week for the up and coming push to the premiership.

next week they hope to sign mr bump and mr tickle

The Mrs and me had a row earlier so i gave her a clout. We then had the best make up sex EVER!! Well i did she was still unconscious

I'm a fool.

How do Welshman find Sheep in long grass?

Irresistable.

Before anyone says anything I am Welsh.

an indian man has died whilst training to be a sky diver, sources at the BNP school of sky diving said they had now idea why his flippers n snorkel didnt open.

whats the hardest part of a sex change? getting the cheese to smell like tuna

my budgie broke his leg so i made him a splint out of 2 swan vestas. his little face lit up, so did the rest of him as i forgot i'd lined the cage floor with sandpaper!!

i gave my missus an orgasm last nite. ungrateful bitch spat it out....

what do u call a pakistani wife beater? justchinda gudenpropa

i swapped the double bed for a trampoline today, the wife hit the f*cking roof

menrtal patiant is in hospital when the nurse catches him with his dick in between to biscuits "what u doing" she asked "im f*cking crackers..."
enjoy

SWANSEA CITY

SWANSEA CITY

SWANSEA CITY

that's more like it

a city fan, a tampax and a cock are walking towards you. which one says hello?

The city fan.













the other two are stuck up c@@ts.

found this light hearted website , good for a laugh !

http://www.milkinfirst.com/

London people are really friendly and considerate, when I returned to my car on Saturday someone had put a sticker on my windscreen saying "Parking Fine"

Statisacally 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape!

Bought a sponge door the other day....you can't knock it!!!

Bought a new tv the other day for £10 only problem is the volume control is stuck....but for that price you cant turn it down!!!

CHEERS and with everything happening Today I AM FINALLY CHEERED UP

anal sex is just like swansea - a weird smelling, claustrophobic shit hole!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

brilliant

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

Tommy- " Can you teach me to do the splits " ?
Gym Instructor- " How flexible are you " ?
Tommy- " Well..I can't make Tuesday's "

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Why do tampons have strings?

So you can floss after eating.