jbbj arrested in identity theft exclusive !!!!

he has been proven to be craig bellamy

i think he got caught doing the dvd girl

,,,, any one know what happend ,,, i know he has a lot on his mind at the moment as his rhode island hen stoped incobatin her eggs last night ( the poor bugger is in bits) any ideas what he did please im very concerned for him and his family.

Mrs Ramsgate,

Rumours of my arrest today, are true although not football related in anyway. After the business with the rhode island red hen, I went into what my psychiatrist termed "mental meltdown" and went beserk in Queen Street this morning, armed with a shovel and a stuffed pelican, I then proceeded to dig up large areas of Queen Street dressed in a polka dot bikini throwing debris at passers by.

I was then chased through Queen Street, by a large contingent of armed police. I eventually took two dwarves as hostages onto the roof of WH Smiths and demanded an helicopter with a pilot, a sub macine gun, 7 Mr Kipling`s strawberry delights and Cilla Black or I would harm the hostages.

I was talked down after nine hours by Gazza and a couple WPC`s, I am writing this from the Whitchurch Psychatric Unit, where I am expected to remain for sometime.

Yours Sincerley

Larry Grayson.

i think he got caught doing the dvd girl

Whats all this about Ben ? Sounds very interesting indeed.

,,,, any one know what happend ,,, i know he has a lot on his mind at the moment as his rhode island hen stoped incobatin her eggs last night ( the poor bugger is in bits) any ideas what he did please im very concerned for him and his family.

Mrs Ramsgate,

Rumours of my arrest today, are true although not football related in anyway. After the business with the rhode island red hen, I went into what my psychiatrist termed "mental meltdown" and went beserk in Queen Street this morning, armed with a shovel and a stuffed pelican, I then proceeded to dig up large areas of Queen Street dressed in a polka dot bikini throwing debris at passers by.

I was then chased through Queen Street, by a large contingent of armed police. I eventually took two dwarves as hostages onto the roof of WH Smiths and demanded an helicopter with a pilot, a sub macine gun, 7 Mr Kipling`s strawberry delights and Cilla Black or I would harm the hostages.

I was talked down after nine hours by Gazza and a couple WPC`s, I am writing this from the Whitchurch Psychatric Unit, where I am expected to remain for sometime.

Yours Sincerley

Larry Grayson.

,,,,,, whitchurch psychatric hospital is a first class place my uncle brian was sent there when his bull dog bitch savaged my grate uncle tom brian suffered as you call it mental melt down his self , he is nearly of sound mind now but he dose relapse on the aniversary of the said attack , thay have lernt to sedate him 3 days before the anaversary and 3 day after it seems to do the trick for him ,,,,, any way ill stop going on about brian now as it brings back memmorys of mansel running about the bar in the york hotel shouting brian the dog has got uncle tom , whitchurch is a fine place for pepole with needs like our selves michael thomas the head of psychatriy there and will give you the attention you deserve over the next couple of days brian was put in a straight jacket and made to listen to pam ayres odes for 10 hours a day and fed on a diet of lumpy mash and fraybentos pies , it worked on him so i would not be suprised if that is what thay will do to you so keep your chin up jbbj you will get well soon , if you need any one to look after your livestock and milk your cows im sure harry would help out as he is coming along very nicely now thay have him on the right medication. love rose.

Thanks for the message of support, I am still feeling a little groggy due to the pychotropic medication they are force feeding me. I seem to be hallucinating a lot, earlier I though me, you, Derek Showers and Phil Stant were dancing the gypsy foxtrot on the Ostend ferry (this can`t be true can it ?)

The straight jackets a little uncomfortable, and they are force feeding me pints of Babycham every hour. Luckily enough I know two of the charge nurses here Melvin Willis and Dai Briar, who have been very kind to me. Thanks for the offer of looking after my livestock but Baz and his little Swiss pen friend Sebastien are looking after them for me, the two of them seem to like spending time alone in my barn ????? wrestling and frolicking amongst the hay.

Is there any chance you can come over from Ireland for the Burton Albion match ? I cannot make it, and I have two free tickets going spare with a free lunch with Peter Ridsdale thrown in at, the Gatekeeper, their yours if you want them.

I must go know Nathan Blake and Adrian Alston along with Albert Lamour have just entered the ward dressed as the Pussycat Dolls although I could be hallucinating again.

Best Wishes

Frankie Dettori

you lot are of your f*cking rockers

Thanks for the message of support, I am still feeling a little groggy due to the pychotropic medication they are force feeding me. I seem to be hallucinating a lot, earlier I though me, you, Derek Showers and Phil Stant were dancing the gypsy foxtrot on the Ostend ferry (this can`t be true can it ?)

The straight jackets a little uncomfortable, and they are force feeding me pints of Babycham every hour. Luckily enough I know two of the charge nurses here Melvin Willis and Dai Briar, who have been very kind to me. Thanks for the offer of looking after my livestock but Baz and his little Swiss pen friend Sebastien are looking after them for me, the two of them seem to like spending time alone in my barn ????? wrestling and frolicking amongst the hay.

Is there any chance you can come over from Ireland for the Burton Albion match ? I cannot make it, and I have two free tickets going spare with a free lunch with Peter Ridsdale thrown in at, the Gatekeeper, their yours if you want them.

I must go know Nathan Blake and Adrian Alston along with Albert Lamour have just entered the ward dressed as the Pussycat Dolls although I could be hallucinating again.

Best Wishes

Frankie Dettori

..... jbbj thanks for the offer of the tickets for the burton game but ill have to decline as i am going for lazer treatment on my left eye , last night when i was cooking harry his tea i went to put his lobbster in the pot and the blooby thing put its claw in my eye , and i was taken to the matter hospital in dublin where i am waiting to go down for the opp the surgeon said it is a 50/50 chance of the opp being sucsesfull so say a little prare for me and lets hope for the best. harry has not been to visit me as it is his bingo afternoon down the old age club he loves it down there with pepole his own age . i just wish he could meet a women and run away with her and give me a chance to get on with my life ,i had a letter off winston my lover from jamaca monday saying he is in the uk for 3 weeks so i hope to spend a bit of time with him why i am telling you this is that i am going to ask you a big favour, can harry stay with you for 3 weeks so that me and winston can have some time on our own trying out some new sexual exsperaments. ..... love rose. p.s. harry wants me to knitt him a cardiff city scarf do you know what couler thay play in.

i think he got caught doing the dvd girl

,,,,,, thats twice this week alledgedly.

rose how are your farmer giles???

rose how are your farmer giles???

..... hi baz how are you, did you ever where that silver thong i gave you or did you give it to ben for his birthday as you said you where going to do.

ben has got it, he has not taken it off since play off final

what a rotter

Rose,

I hope to christ they can save your vision, if I have told you once I have told you a thousand times, always semi stun a lobster before placing it into the saucepan prior to cooking with a small mallet, lobsters are very aggressive creatures. I have known lobsters to kill Pitbull terriers, if their territory is encroached upon or if they feel threatened.

Luckily enough I am in Ireland tomorrow for a business meeting with Martin McGuiness and Gerry Adams, once I have finished the meeting I will call into the hospital to visit you and bring you a small gift of several tins of sliced carrots which I know will aid your recovery along with a crunchie and some jelly and blancmange.

I am so glad that Winston is visiting you from Jamaica, the special time you and him spend together exploring one anothers bodies in a sensual and erotic manner whilst discovering your sexual preferences will boost your fragile self esteem. By all means send Harry over to spend a few weeks in my caravan in Shirenewton, he will be in his element there amongst the chickens, marrows, barn owls and ferrets I know he loves so much. I could also arrange a blind date for him with my mother in law who is 76 a little younger than Harry, I know but they might just hit it off.

I could have asked Harry to stay in my apartment down in Penarth, but Baz and is young swiss pen friend Sebastian have booked it for a month from me. These two are very close at the moment, and they are both keen on interior decorating and modern art, and also dress designing and toe nail painting, still each to their own I suppose.

Regarding your knitting I think Cardiff still play in a strip of black top and green shorts, but I am not sure of this as I have been colour blind since 1979 after that incident with the Vauxhall Viva exhaust pipe and Hitlers pigeons.

A slightly sad bit of news for you old Blossom my welsh cob mare had to be put down today, by Mr Capron the vet, myself the mrs and the kids are devastated. That old horse was 31 and I had her 29 years, and had nine beautiful foals from her. If you remember me you and Ceri Saunders fetched her in Ceri`s horsebox from Builth Wells.

The masters of the local fox hunt are picking her up for disposal tomorrow afternoon. She will be fed to the hounds, buts its cheaper than renting a JCB to bury her. Anyway Rose, try not to worry about your eye too much, and I will call into visit you tomorrow. By the way how did Harry manage for his dinner ?

Yours

Lady Gaga

Rose,

I hope to christ they can save your vision, if I have told you once I have told you a thousand times, always semi stun a lobster before placing it into the saucepan prior to cooking with a small mallet, lobsters are very aggressive creatures. I have known lobsters to kill Pitbull terriers, if their territory is encroached upon or if they feel threatened.

Luckily enough I am in Ireland tomorrow for a business meeting with Martin McGuiness and Gerry Adams, once I have finished the meeting I will call into the hospital to visit you and bring you a small gift of several tins of sliced carrots which I know will aid your recovery along with a crunchie and some jelly and blancmange.

I am so glad that Winston is visiting you from Jamaica, the special time you and him spend together exploring one anothers bodies in a sensual and erotic manner whilst discovering your sexual preferences will boost your fragile self esteem. By all means send Harry over to spend a few weeks in my caravan in Shirenewton, he will be in his element there amongst the chickens, marrows, barn owls and ferrets I know he loves so much. I could also arrange a blind date for him with my mother in law who is 76 a little younger than Harry, I know but they might just hit it off.

I could have asked Harry to stay in my apartment down in Penarth, but Baz and is young swiss pen friend Sebastian have booked it for a month from me. These two are very close at the moment, and they are both keen on interior decorating and modern art, and also dress designing and toe nail painting, still each to their own I suppose.

Regarding your knitting I think Cardiff still play in a strip of black top and green shorts, but I am not sure of this as I have been colour blind since 1979 after that incident with the Vauxhall Viva exhaust pipe and Hitlers pigeons.

A slightly sad bit of news for you old Blossom my welsh cob mare had to be put down today, by Mr Capron the vet, myself the mrs and the kids are devastated. That old horse was 31 and I had her 29 years, and had nine beautiful foals from her. If you remember me you and Ceri Saunders fetched her in Ceri`s horsebox from Builth Wells.

The masters of the local fox hunt are picking her up for disposal tomorrow afternoon. She will be fed to the hounds, buts its cheaper than renting a JCB to bury her. Anyway Rose, try not to worry about your eye too much, and I will call into visit you tomorrow. By the way how did Harry manage for his dinner ?

Yours

Lady Gaga

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, harry dose not like take away food so he is having to cook for himself and the twins , i dred to think about the mess he is making, so last night i phoned the catholic priest the right reverand moon , who works in our local church and asked him if he could send two or three nuns down to give harry a hand with the twins when i am in hospital , so the reverand moon said he would send his best nuns to help harry out at this very trying mowment in time , i only hope that harry treats them with the respect thay deserve as harry is a stounsh prodistant , and with him in his fragile state of mind at the moment i dred to think what he might do . the twins are very good these days since thayer short stay in mountjoy high security prison finnbarr has got him self a job in dublin zoo as a macaw keeper and also helps out in pets corner with the day to day needs of the animals he i like a new man but ruffus the other boy is going from bad to worse with his drinking and drug addiction , he was thrown out of the hospital last night when he came to see me for vomating over himself and shouting at the nurses ( its all your f*cking falt the whole of you are against me im only visating my mother and you are paid to much any way) and all crap like that jbbj im at my witts end with him. any way when you come over to dublin finnbarr can get you and your family a free day pass for the day in the zoo i would recomend to go as thay have a briliant elephant enclousher and i know you go to india every other year to help out with the elephant in need programe. any way im due to have my pre opp tablets now and going down for the opp in about 2 hours im very frightend jbbj i just wish when i wake up winston would be there but i know that wont happen and hat big of a man harry will be there. ,thanks for the help and the email address for the kennal club , talk soon i hope love rose. xxxxxxxxx

Mrs Ramsgate,

I hope the operation went well ? Sorry I could not get out to Dublin to visit you today, but those bloody idiots Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee turned up this morning, begging me to get them starring roles in horror films on television. Their fools I gave up my television career three years ago, after that stupid idea I had of televising long distance porno pigeon racing presented by Sid Waddell and Melanie Sykes, Which was a total ratings disaster.

I won`t be able to visit you myself know as I have now agreed to join Cushing, Price & Lee in a sponsored car drive to the Transvaal in Cushing`s Ford Zephyr looking for vampires,its being filmed by Channel 5, so we are hoping it will be televised sometime in September, all the sponsorship money raised, will go to paying off the Langstone debt.

Great news to hear young Rufus is working in Dublin zoo, I recall the happy times I had working in the bear enclosure at Chessington zoo back in the 70`s. If you remember they sacked me for letting members of the public into the polar bears enclosure in exchange for sexual favours. If is interest in elephants continues, I will be going back to India early next year to continue my charity work for Friends of the elephants, and your son could come along with me. He will be at no risk what so ever as I am now off the sex offenders register.

By the way great news for our club, I nipped into Boots in Canton today to pick up my anti-depressants and parked outside in a top of the range KIA were Lionel Messi, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Rooney & Leo Fortune-West they asked me the way to the CCS and told me they would definetley be joining Cardiff within the next 48 hours.

Their quite large wages are going to be paid, by a well known South Wales entrepaneur who is in the painting and decorating business, they would tell me no more than that, so please keep this to yourself.

If your eye operation is unsuccessfull, will you be requireing a glass eye ? I know its a bit personal to ask, but do you remember that drunken old jock, who used to go in the Rheola and drop his glass eye in his pint. Well he left me the eye in is will, so its yours if you need it.

Best Wishes

Danny Devito

Mrs Ramsgate,

I hope the operation went well ? Sorry I could not get out to Dublin to visit you today, but those bloody idiots Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee turned up this morning, begging me to get them starring roles in horror films on television. Their fools I gave up my television career three years ago, after that stupid idea I had of televising long distance porno pigeon racing presented by Sid Waddell and Melanie Sykes, Which was a total ratings disaster.

I won`t be able to visit you myself know as I have now agreed to join Cushing, Price & Lee in a sponsored car drive to the Transvaal in Cushing`s Ford Zephyr looking for vampires,its being filmed by Channel 5, so we are hoping it will be televised sometime in September, all the sponsorship money raised, will go to paying off the Langstone debt.

Great news to hear young Rufus is working in Dublin zoo, I recall the happy times I had working in the bear enclosure at Chessington zoo back in the 70`s. If you remember they sacked me for letting members of the public into the polar bears enclosure in exchange for sexual favours. If is interest in elephants continues, I will be going back to India early next year to continue my charity work for Friends of the elephants, and your son could come along with me. He will be at no risk what so ever as I am now off the sex offenders register.

By the way great news for our club, I nipped into Boots in Canton today to pick up my anti-depressants and parked outside in a top of the range KIA were Lionel Messi, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Rooney & Leo Fortune-West they asked me the way to the CCS and told me they would definetley be joining Cardiff within the next 48 hours.

Their quite large wages are going to be paid, by a well known South Wales entrepaneur who is in the painting and decorating business, they would tell me no more than that, so please keep this to yourself.

If your eye operation is unsuccessfull, will you be requireing a glass eye ? I know its a bit personal to ask, but do you remember that drunken old jock, who used to go in the Rheola and drop his glass eye in his pint. Well he left me the eye in is will, so its yours if you need it.

Best Wishes

Danny Devito

craig deacon has got a bob or two

Mrs Ramsgate,

I hope the operation went well ? Sorry I could not get out to Dublin to visit you today, but those bloody idiots Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee turned up this morning, begging me to get them starring roles in horror films on television. Their fools I gave up my television career three years ago, after that stupid idea I had of televising long distance porno pigeon racing presented by Sid Waddell and Melanie Sykes, Which was a total ratings disaster.

I won`t be able to visit you myself know as I have now agreed to join Cushing, Price & Lee in a sponsored car drive to the Transvaal in Cushing`s Ford Zephyr looking for vampires,its being filmed by Channel 5, so we are hoping it will be televised sometime in September, all the sponsorship money raised, will go to paying off the Langstone debt.

Great news to hear young Rufus is working in Dublin zoo, I recall the happy times I had working in the bear enclosure at Chessington zoo back in the 70`s. If you remember they sacked me for letting members of the public into the polar bears enclosure in exchange for sexual favours. If is interest in elephants continues, I will be going back to India early next year to continue my charity work for Friends of the elephants, and your son could come along with me. He will be at no risk what so ever as I am now off the sex offenders register.

By the way great news for our club, I nipped into Boots in Canton today to pick up my anti-depressants and parked outside in a top of the range KIA were Lionel Messi, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Rooney & Leo Fortune-West they asked me the way to the CCS and told me they would definetley be joining Cardiff within the next 48 hours.

Their quite large wages are going to be paid, by a well known South Wales entrepaneur who is in the painting and decorating business, they would tell me no more than that, so please keep this to yourself.

If your eye operation is unsuccessfull, will you be requireing a glass eye ? I know its a bit personal to ask, but do you remember that drunken old jock, who used to go in the Rheola and drop his glass eye in his pint. Well he left me the eye in is will, so its yours if you need it.

Best Wishes

Danny Devito

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thanks of the offer of the glass eye you where so kindly given by jimmy in the rheola , but the opp was a compleat succsess and i have 20/20 vishion again ( hanks be to god ) i am leaving the hospital this evining and being picked up by an old lover of mine pip lenord he has borrowed tubs green ford caprl but i need to pay him £50 pounds petrol money, which i think is a bit steep as i only live 2 miles away from the hospital but it is the thourght that counts (i suppose) i am meeting my surgeon for a drink next monday night at his home in grangestown his name is dr johnny barly wine, as i was driffting in and out of conshesnus during the opp on my eye i could here him singing he has a wonderful voice like an angel , he is a keen fan of wrestling and chess and told me he will show me how to wrestel and the way to play chess i dont know wether to have sex with him or not as he is a little bit over weight he must be about 35 stone but he has a prity face ill decide on the night . jbbj off subject do you know any thing about the breeding habbits white aylsbury ducks as finbarr wants to start a breeding programe in dublin zoo with his wokk mate pat butcher , i dont think it will be very succsesful as both of them are allergic to fethers , i told them thay would be better off with fetherless birds like penguins and magpies ( but it is like talking to the wall ) any way home to harry today and he wont even ask me how i am . lots of love yours always mrs rose ramsgate.

penguins arouse me

penguins arouse me

...... me to baz i always pick up a penguin

WISH you bas$tard$ would stop changing the header of this thread i keep reading the same thing about his bloody hen laying eggs!

stopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

Mrs Ramsgate,

I hope the operation went well ? Sorry I could not get out to Dublin to visit you today, but those bloody idiots Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee turned up this morning, begging me to get them starring roles in horror films on television. Their fools I gave up my television career three years ago, after that stupid idea I had of televising long distance porno pigeon racing presented by Sid Waddell and Melanie Sykes, Which was a total ratings disaster.

I won`t be able to visit you myself know as I have now agreed to join Cushing, Price & Lee in a sponsored car drive to the Transvaal in Cushing`s Ford Zephyr looking for vampires,its being filmed by Channel 5, so we are hoping it will be televised sometime in September, all the sponsorship money raised, will go to paying off the Langstone debt.

Great news to hear young Rufus is working in Dublin zoo, I recall the happy times I had working in the bear enclosure at Chessington zoo back in the 70`s. If you remember they sacked me for letting members of the public into the polar bears enclosure in exchange for sexual favours. If is interest in elephants continues, I will be going back to India early next year to continue my charity work for Friends of the elephants, and your son could come along with me. He will be at no risk what so ever as I am now off the sex offenders register.

By the way great news for our club, I nipped into Boots in Canton today to pick up my anti-depressants and parked outside in a top of the range KIA were Lionel Messi, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Rooney & Leo Fortune-West they asked me the way to the CCS and told me they would definetley be joining Cardiff within the next 48 hours.

Their quite large wages are going to be paid, by a well known South Wales entrepaneur who is in the painting and decorating business, they would tell me no more than that, so please keep this to yourself.

If your eye operation is unsuccessfull, will you be requireing a glass eye ? I know its a bit personal to ask, but do you remember that drunken old jock, who used to go in the Rheola and drop his glass eye in his pint. Well he left me the eye in is will, so its yours if you need it.

Best Wishes

Danny Devito

craig deacon has got a bob or two

Mr Deacon as alas spent is recent inheritance on copious amounts of alcohol, the man is now a mere shadow of his former self, I would put him on a par with Mr Ronnie Rock.

that bad

Mrs Ramsgate,

I hope the operation went well ? Sorry I could not get out to Dublin to visit you today, but those bloody idiots Peter Cushing, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee turned up this morning, begging me to get them starring roles in horror films on television. Their fools I gave up my television career three years ago, after that stupid idea I had of televising long distance porno pigeon racing presented by Sid Waddell and Melanie Sykes, Which was a total ratings disaster.

I won`t be able to visit you myself know as I have now agreed to join Cushing, Price & Lee in a sponsored car drive to the Transvaal in Cushing`s Ford Zephyr looking for vampires,its being filmed by Channel 5, so we are hoping it will be televised sometime in September, all the sponsorship money raised, will go to paying off the Langstone debt.

Great news to hear young Rufus is working in Dublin zoo, I recall the happy times I had working in the bear enclosure at Chessington zoo back in the 70`s. If you remember they sacked me for letting members of the public into the polar bears enclosure in exchange for sexual favours. If is interest in elephants continues, I will be going back to India early next year to continue my charity work for Friends of the elephants, and your son could come along with me. He will be at no risk what so ever as I am now off the sex offenders register.

By the way great news for our club, I nipped into Boots in Canton today to pick up my anti-depressants and parked outside in a top of the range KIA were Lionel Messi, Craig Bellamy, Wayne Rooney & Leo Fortune-West they asked me the way to the CCS and told me they would definetley be joining Cardiff within the next 48 hours.

Their quite large wages are going to be paid, by a well known South Wales entrepaneur who is in the painting and decorating business, they would tell me no more than that, so please keep this to yourself.

If your eye operation is unsuccessfull, will you be requireing a glass eye ? I know its a bit personal to ask, but do you remember that drunken old jock, who used to go in the Rheola and drop his glass eye in his pint. Well he left me the eye in is will, so its yours if you need it.

Best Wishes

Danny Devito

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thanks of the offer of the glass eye you where so kindly given by jimmy in the rheola , but the opp was a compleat succsess and i have 20/20 vishion again ( hanks be to god ) i am leaving the hospital this evining and being picked up by an old lover of mine pip lenord he has borrowed tubs green ford caprl but i need to pay him £50 pounds petrol money, which i think is a bit steep as i only live 2 miles away from the hospital but it is the thourght that counts (i suppose) i am meeting my surgeon for a drink next monday night at his home in grangestown his name is dr johnny barly wine, as i was driffting in and out of conshesnus during the opp on my eye i could here him singing he has a wonderful voice like an angel , he is a keen fan of wrestling and chess and told me he will show me how to wrestel and the way to play chess i dont know wether to have sex with him or not as he is a little bit over weight he must be about 35 stone but he has a prity face ill decide on the night . jbbj off subject do you know any thing about the breeding habbits white aylsbury ducks as finbarr wants to start a breeding programe in dublin zoo with his wokk mate pat butcher , i dont think it will be very succsesful as both of them are allergic to fethers , i told them thay would be better off with fetherless birds like penguins and magpies ( but it is like talking to the wall ) any way home to harry today and he wont even ask me how i am . lots of love yours always mrs rose ramsgate.

Wonderful news regarding your vision returning, I had every faith in the surgeon Doctor Shipman, the man`s brilliant with optical issues. Beware of this Barleywine character from Grangetown, this person is a Brazilian she-male who drinks regularly in both the Neville and the Cornwall public houses, and sells her/his body quite cheaply to the good citizens of Grangetown so please Rose, I know your sex drive is extraordinarily high, but think wisely about getting yourself involved with this she-male, you remember what happened that time you got involved with that bi-sexual limbo dancer from Trinidad !!!

Onto more serious matters, if young Finbarr and his chum Pat Butcher are adamant about breeding aylesbury ducks, they need to be backed to the hilt financially, as aylesburys per breeding pair are fetching a good £24. Their best kept in flocks of three or four maximum, never I repeat never leave them see daylight or have access to water during the period of Ramadan, aylesburys are devout muslims. The breeding of them is quite simple really, house the ducks in a treehouse (ideally the tree should be oak or larch) make sure its about 95 foot above ground level, attach a rope or preferably a chain to a tractor attached to the treehouse, then gently for five or six hours per night just drive the tractor backwards and forwards, rocking the treehouse, thus getting the ducks in the mood for breeding, singing hymns as you rock the treehouse hastens the breeding process, personally I have found ducks love to be sung Showaddywaddy or Rod Stewart songs.

Do this for several weeks and hey presto, your ducks should have bred successfully. Don`t worry about feeding or watering the ducks these creatures can go for up to 9 months without either. Then collect the ducks and place them in a more natural form of habitat for them, such as a greenhouse, an old beer barrel or a supermarket trolley.

We are holding a Terry Blinkhorn charity memorial night on 29th August at the Hillside country club if your interested. All monies raised will go to pay off the Langstone debt, thereby helping our club.

We have some good acts lined up for the night, they include Philip Newman and is clockwork mouse, Jimmy Cockles sings opera, Dai Gob as Shirley Bassey and John and Stotty Luckwell`s tribute to the Rolling Stones act. It should be a cracking night, I hope you can make it.

Off now to put some lard on the Cat`s (Alphonse) boils.

Lenny Maclean

that bad

Yes seriously Baz, if he keeps drinking at the rate he is, I have serious concerns about his health. I know he`s no einstein but he`s a likeable guy is Craig, its a shame to see him going this way.

i just wish i could afford to do it

Your right Baz, they cost a fortune don`t they ?

Your right Baz, they cost a fortune don`t they ?

cockles have gone up considerably lately

Your right Baz, they cost a fortune don`t they ?

cockles have gone up considerably lately

I blame Denzil Washington and Louise Redknapp myself.

i am afraid i am missing Ben!!!!

i am afraid i am missing Ben!!!!

He was a special creature and to think Micheal Jackson dedicated a song to him.