"ONE LINE JOKES"

A mother is preparing dessert for after a family meal when her young son comes running in breathless.

"Mum! Mum! Quick! Granny is playing with her shrimp!"

The mother, confused, follows the boy back into the dining room and sees the kid's grandmother furiously fingering herself.

"Ah!" said the mother. "Well, that's not a shrimp. That's actually called a 'vagina'"

"Oh!" said the boy. "It certainly tasted like shrimp."

An old man goes for a checkup at the doctor's. The doctor runs the tests then sits the old man down.

"I'm very sorry," he says. "I've got a couple of bits of bad news to impart. Firstly, you have cancer."

The old man is shocked and a tear wells up in his eye. The doctor waits for a minute for the news to sink in and then carries on, "And you are also showing early stages of Alzheimers disease. I'm really, very sorry."

The old man sits in silence for a little while longer, head hung down. Finally he looks up and puts a brave smile on his face.

"I suppose it could be worse," he says. "I could have cancer."

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Six inches isn't enough.

I used to be dyselxic but i'm KO now!!

How do save a Jack from drowning? Take your foot off his head....

what do you throw a drowning jack?........his wife and kids

what do you throw a drowning jack?........his wife and kids

rob your sick

what do you throw a drowning jack?........his wife and kids

rob your sick

Agreed but it's still funny