Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:24 pm
Mon Jun 14, 2010 10:18 am
John Bowens brotherj wrote:Harsh words indeed Baz, you better than anyone else, should now what Rose as endured from that swine of an husband of hers during the 56 years they have been married. Harry Ramsgate is nothing more than a wife beating, sexually depraved monster who as made poor Rose`s life hell with his acts of flashing, dogging and is bizarre interest in transexualism. I myself have tried everything to get Rose away from this animal, but its not been easy, given his mental health issues and how violent he can become. He attacked me on one occasion with one of his prize winning marrows, which left me with a broken pelvis and 4 stitches in my ear. His interest in mice, chickens and tadpoles are all a front for his underlying evilness. Baz we need to pioneer a scheme where we can rescue Rose, and get him away from this vile creature. Okay I accept you are now spoken for with Nerys the hamster, but if we could rescue Rose, her and Winston could begin a new life together, somewhere where Harry could never find them like Tangiers or Montreal etc. We could use my Ford Capri and the cross channel ferry to achieve this, equally we could perhaps enlist the help of some of your old SAS mates and airlift them to safety, then drive them in your mark 2 Cortina to a country of their choice ?
JBBJ
Mon Jun 14, 2010 8:48 pm
Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:01 am
Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:07 am
Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:11 am
Martyn1963 wrote:so are u on crimewatch tonite then for solicting on the Kings Road after the Chelsea game ??
Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:13 am
Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:15 am
Martyn1963 wrote:you sure it wasnt up the Arsenal ??
Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:32 pm
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:.....lucus off eastenders . did you know that he is winstons half brother thay where both born in kingston jamaca lucas was a very hyper active child and always got up to all sort of misschief like the time when thay where drinking red stripe on the beech ( he was only nine and a half at the time) and he prostertuted him self to a group of miners from poland . i honestly think that was his down fall and that is why he started to preach the lords gosspal . winston and lucus where never awere that thay where not full brothers untill thayer mother betty told them one day when thay where eating thayer rice and peas that lucus father was emrys thomas a well known buissness man from dinas . he met emrys many years later in the baden powell bar he was so dissmayd to find emrys sitting in the bar with no trousers and pants on making tourrancheler noises that he decided to become a member of the eastenders cast . now he is famous and finanshaly sound, but that day he found his father in the baden has turned him to drink and drugs . i am only glad that winston is of sound mind .
Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:38 pm
Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:34 am
Wed Jun 16, 2010 4:34 pm
Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:59 pm
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:jbbj. would you be interested in selling your zepha to me as a good friend of mine from tonerefail called steve davis cant get his old anglia started . he had a fitter from beebs coaches to have a look at it but cant get the part he needs as mansel recons that anglia stoped making cars two years ago ! any way steve and des probate where up in des house last night smoking that old stuff thay smoke so i wont see steve boy for a few days now as he gets very parinoed after spending the night at des mothers pad . i think the world of des and mrs probate i just wish she had the heart to tell des to get a job and a girl or boy friend as des must be near 60 years of age now ////////// ps can you remember when me you and mansell shaged philip newman in a telephone box out side the meadow vale.
Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:04 pm
bluebirdbaz wrote:i got a overhead sidewinder foo foo valve if thats anygood, free to a good home
Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:19 pm
Wed Jun 16, 2010 10:16 pm
Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:59 am
John Bowens brotherj wrote:mrs harry ramsgate wrote:jbbj. would you be interested in selling your zepha to me as a good friend of mine from tonerefail called steve davis cant get his old anglia started . he had a fitter from beebs coaches to have a look at it but cant get the part he needs as mansel recons that anglia stoped making cars two years ago ! any way steve and des probate where up in des house last night smoking that old stuff thay smoke so i wont see steve boy for a few days now as he gets very parinoed after spending the night at des mothers pad . i think the world of des and mrs probate i just wish she had the heart to tell des to get a job and a girl or boy friend as des must be near 60 years of age now ////////// ps can you remember when me you and mansell shaged philip newman in a telephone box out side the meadow vale.
Mrs Ramsgate I would have sold you the Zephyr but that bloody idiot Lucas trashed it last night, crashing into a group of prostitutes, down Tindall Street. I could line Steve Davis up with an hillman minx, for £22 I bought it off Ronnie Rock recently if your interested ? Steve`s never liked me since the time I hid in the boot of Mansel`s Lada, after a Sunday morning watching strippers over the Nonpol club,which certainly added to Steves paranoia. Good news on Des Probate he`s now drug free married to an Iraqi gentleman and working as the British Cultural attache to Venezuela, poor old Mrs Probate now lives in an old peoples home with her doves. I do indeed remember the Newman/telephone affair, though thinking back I seem to recall it was only Mansel who had penetrative sex with him, we were merely observing this sordid spectacle whilst waiting to phone the police to report this act of gross indecency.
Talking of Mansel, he now lives in Brentford and is one of their main boys.
JBBJ
Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:02 pm
bluebirdbaz wrote:my favourite us president was morgan freeman, f*cking ace he was
Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:18 pm
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:bluebirdbaz wrote:my favourite us president was morgan freeman, f*cking ace he was
,,,,,, yes morgan freman was a giant amongst american free masons the only trouble with this bloke was his inept way of talking to french onion sellers in ponty market
Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:21 pm
Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:53 pm
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:jbbj. i would be very careful growing canabis when on remand for importing exotic dancers from thiland , i remember when i was a young girl growing canabis in steve cannons window box when i was arrested thay sent me to holloway young affenders for girls with issues . I FOUND IT VERY RELAXING THERE 3 meals a day warm and dry place to stay it was a lot better than i was used to.as you know only to well that i was brought up in an orphanage in the sudan where i was used as a punch bag by all the men there that is why i end up in floods of tears every time i here about you getting in trouble with the law again you must learn to calm down like unk has he has never looked back after finding the right medecation i think he takes valium and anti histamine pills ,you should give them a try thay work very well on unk , any way i had a phone call off sam hammam last night askin if i would like to go to his home in the lebenon and see if i can find out what is wrong with his favourate fellow hawk he said it is not eating and loosing its fethers , i would exspect he is feeding it to much mint ice cream and if that is the case it is an easy case for me to solve . i am off to llantrisant hospital tomorrow to see my old mate ted banstable he is having a boob job done next week so i am just going to wish him luck and take him his favourate tipple a bottle of cloudy lemonade ...... love rose,
Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:50 pm
Fri Jun 18, 2010 6:29 pm
Sat Jun 19, 2010 3:50 pm
John Bowens brotherj wrote:Try putting an antique grecian urn over it, and you must ensure that the urn is filled with a combination of methadone/quavers and most importantly dasish residue. Leave it on your foot for upto 567 days, and hey pretso the nipple will vanish. Another alternative would be to have your foot amputated thus removing the nipple and alas your foot, which might be a bit extreme.
I have a book you can borrow on this subject called Toenippleissues written by Professor Cwald Zlomer of the Geneva Institute of Toenippleology.
JBBJ
Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:58 pm
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:John Bowens brotherj wrote:Try putting an antique grecian urn over it, and you must ensure that the urn is filled with a combination of methadone/quavers and most importantly dasish residue. Leave it on your foot for upto 567 days, and hey pretso the nipple will vanish. Another alternative would be to have your foot amputated thus removing the nipple and alas your foot, which might be a bit extreme.
I have a book you can borrow on this subject called Toenippleissues written by Professor Cwald Zlomer of the Geneva Institute of Toenippleology.
JBBJ
,,,,,,,, dear baz and jbbj.
i have a different cure for third nipple syndrome it involves putting the exsses nipple in a five ton vice and tighten the vice up very slowly untill the said nipple starts turning blue then leave the vice attached to the nipple for 48 hours and then remove . there should be no feeling left in the offending teat . then you need a clean rag soak it in castrol gtx for a few hours and stuff it in the patients mouth. this should help with the slight wimpering that may ocur so what you need to do next is tie fishing line(100lb braking strain) around the blue teat and around a greman shepards coller the german shepard will then get a bit sexualy arroused ( germans like this sort of thing )then with a big cerdiff accent shout snell snell when you can see the teat has come off you need to tell fritz to halt halt . after a few hours take the patiant to his local gp for some advice on anti_biotics. hope this helps you both. ps ,,,,,,,, i have a broody old engilsh game bird if you need it to sit on them ostrich eggs you have ill fetch it up after church tommorow.
Sun Jun 20, 2010 3:29 pm
Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:00 pm
John Bowens brotherj wrote:mrs harry ramsgate wrote:John Bowens brotherj wrote:Try putting an antique grecian urn over it, and you must ensure that the urn is filled with a combination of methadone/quavers and most importantly dasish residue. Leave it on your foot for upto 567 days, and hey pretso the nipple will vanish. Another alternative would be to have your foot amputated thus removing the nipple and alas your foot, which might be a bit extreme.
I have a book you can borrow on this subject called Toenippleissues written by Professor Cwald Zlomer of the Geneva Institute of Toenippleology.
JBBJ
,,,,,,,, dear baz and jbbj.
i have a different cure for third nipple syndrome it involves putting the exsses nipple in a five ton vice and tighten the vice up very slowly untill the said nipple starts turning blue then leave the vice attached to the nipple for 48 hours and then remove . there should be no feeling left in the offending teat . then you need a clean rag soak it in castrol gtx for a few hours and stuff it in the patients mouth. this should help with the slight wimpering that may ocur so what you need to do next is tie fishing line(100lb braking strain) around the blue teat and around a greman shepards coller the german shepard will then get a bit sexualy arroused ( germans like this sort of thing )then with a big cerdiff accent shout snell snell when you can see the teat has come off you need to tell fritz to halt halt . after a few hours take the patiant to his local gp for some advice on anti_biotics. hope this helps you both. ps ,,,,,,,, i have a broody old engilsh game bird if you need it to sit on them ostrich eggs you have ill fetch it up after church tommorow.
Mrs Ramsgate thats a method of nipple removal I have never heard of before, it sounds great and I will try it on my third nipple tomorrow, where the hell I am going to get hold of a german shepherds another thing, would my mule be okay to use ? Although he`s very stubborn and only understands commands made in Danish, thats where I bought him from, when I was driving for Bebb`s coaches back in 82. The broody old english game hen would be a blessing, could she cover 17 ostrich eggs ? Been having some troubles with the Animal Liberation Front regarding my continued interest in carrying out my own research into animal behaviours and experiments. Their up in arms at the moment, because I have been force feeding my cats Tibbles & Dr John to take 100 ecstasy tablets a day each, in an attempt to see if it as any sort of impact on their behaviour. I cannot see why people get so upset about this sort of thing, you remember the trouble I had when I was forcing my macaw monkey Kram to smoke 120 cigarettes a day in my laborotory to see how it could improve his eyesight. The worlds gone bloody mad. Off to Portugal tomorrow for a week, would you still like me to collect the inflatable blow up doll, for your other half and that large quantity of ketamine you were after.
Theres a good gang of us going Me & Mrs, Imogen, Lucas, Mansel & Christine, Mucker Matthews & missus, Pie, Dunga, Mike Drew, Cyril Berry, Denzil Munkfield, John & Stotty Luckwell, Claude Brown, Mad Layton from Gilfach, Terry Lewis, Paul Thomas`s mother, Loggy, Swainey, Ernie Hopkins, Danny Vinegar, Mervyn the milk, Gwyn from the Shaft, Tad, Peter Piper, The Pink Parrafin man, John Bowen, Beaky and Ringo.
What could possibly go wrong with this sort of company, I ask you.
PS Glad your still attending church every Sunday, you must take great comfort in your religion, and it gets you out of the clutches of that evil husband of yours for a while. I am still dabbling in the occult and devil worshipping we sacrificed a duck this afternoon over the dining table, in the honour of the dark lord, the antichrist.
JBBJ
Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:25 pm
Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:48 pm
Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:25 am
mrs harry ramsgate wrote:baz i do belive jbbj and his good wife have gone on there holidays thay asked if i would remind you to water his flowers and feed the chickins,