L.N.C

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The ten year old in my trunk.

What is the best thing about 23 year olds?




There are 20 of them





Sorry

What do you do to a deaf, dumb, and blind girl after you rape her?

Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

What do you do to a deaf, dumb, and blind girl after you rape her?

Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Some bloke at a bus stop earlier hit me on the legs with a stick for no reason.

Naturally, I retaliated and beat the living shit out of him.

Just for good measure, I kicked his Labrador as well.

nice one

A little girl is watching her mum getting changed to go out for the evening.
"What are they?" she asked.
"Those are mummy's breasts," the mother replied.

"Will I get those?" came the next question.
"When you're a little older," answered the girl's mother.

"And what is that?" the little girl asked.

"That's mummy's vagina," the mother answered, a little embarrassed.
"When will I get that?"
"That will happen at around the same time you get your breasts. Now run along and let mummy change."

The little girl ran off into the next room where her father was getting changed out of his work clothes to relax for the evening.

"What's that thing, daddy?" asked the little girl.
"That's daddy's penis," he answered.
"When will I get one of those?" the little girl asked.

"In about an hour."

Children: the best form of contraception.

Children: the best form of contraception.

i always say to people having a child, "you spend the first 4 years teaching them to walk and talk, the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up !!."

great jokes


big black prostitute says to paddy, if you can guess what chelsea players i have tattoed on the inside of my groin you can have me for free.
paddy looks at them, not sure who those 2 are..........
but the the one in the middle with the curly black hair, and big pink lips is definatly DROGBA!

What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhoea Of Anne Franks.

:lol:
What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhoea Of Anne Franks.

il put a few of these to make you happy ............
but i dont actualy get that one

surely you know who anne franks is??????

surely you know who anne franks is??????

Ye, she is upstairs right now why?

well explain the joke to milly, he dont get it

things that are difficult to say when drunk
1. innovative
2. preliminary
3. proliferation
4. cinnamon
things that are very difficult to say when drunk
1. specificity
2. anticonstitutionalistcally
3. passive-aggressive disorder
things that are down right impossible to say when drunk
1. no thanks,im married
2. nope, no more booze for me
3. sorry, but your not really my type
4. no i dont want to see your fanny

well explain the joke to milly, he dont get it

He aint the brightest Rob, it could take a while

things that are difficult to say when drunk
1. innovative
2. preliminary
3. proliferation
4. cinnamon
things that are very difficult to say when drunk
1. specificity
2. anticonstitutionalistcally
3. passive-aggressive disorder
things that are down right impossible to say when drunk
1. no thanks,im married
2. nope, no more booze for me
3. sorry, but your not really my type
4. no i dont want to see your fanny

things that are difficult to say when drunk
1. innovative
2. preliminary
3. proliferation
4. cinnamon
things that are very difficult to say when drunk
1. specificity
2. anticonstitutionalistcally
3. passive-aggressive disorder
things that are down right impossible to say when drunk
1. no thanks,im married
2. nope, no more booze for me
3. sorry, but your not really my type
4. no i dont want to see your fanny

i cant say them sober
as for the last 4 is booze required

What do a tightrope walker and a young man getting head off his granny have in common?

Neither look down.

What do a tightrope walker and a young man getting head off his granny have in common?

Neither look down.

what makes nine out of ten people happy

gang rape

Morning folks, just in from work

What's the difference between a vibrator and a Swansea fan?




A vibrator isn't a real dick

This 13-year-old boy who fathered a child with a 15-year-old girl... I'm just trying to work something out.

Is the 13-year-old a Paedophile for shagging a 15-year-old girl?

Is the 15-year-old girl a Paedophile for shagging a 13-year-old boy?

...or am I a Paedophile for filming the conception?

Morning folks, just in from work

What's the difference between a vibrator and a Swansea fan?




A vibrator isn't a real dick

good way to enter, that joke could mysteriously make an apperance as my facebook status

What's the best term for a Paedophile?

Half term

This 13-year-old boy who fathered a child with a 15-year-old girl... I'm just trying to work something out.

Is the 13-year-old a Paedophile for shagging a 15-year-old girl?

Is the 15-year-old girl a Paedophile for shagging a 13-year-old boy?

...or am I a Pedophile for filming the conception?

or am i a pedophile for wanting a copy

a 12 year old boy who weighs 14 stone was asked today
what his favourite musical instrument was at school
the fat fucker said the dinner bell

a 12 year old boy who weighs 14 stone was asked today
what his favourite musical instrument was at school
the fat fucker said the dinner bell

actually laughed so loud i woke my parents up

This 13-year-old boy who fathered a child with a 15-year-old girl... I'm just trying to work something out.

Is the 13-year-old a Paedophile for shagging a 15-year-old girl?

Is the 15-year-old girl a Paedophile for shagging a 13-year-old boy?

...or am I a Pedophile for filming the conception?

or am i a pedophile for wanting a copy

I got plenty of spares

giss a leg up .........