Another one
Tue Mar 23, 2010 3:42 pm
Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button thats come off of me fly I canny button me pants."
"Oh Angus...I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it"
About 5 minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling doon the stairs.
Walking back in the door with a blackend eye and a bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says "My god, what in hells name happened to you? Did you ask her like I told you?"
"Aye" says Angus.."I asked her to sew on the wee button an she did, everything was goin fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread... Mr. MacDonald walked in...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank f**k I'm back to work tomorrow
"Oh Angus...I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it"
About 5 minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling doon the stairs.
Walking back in the door with a blackend eye and a bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says "My god, what in hells name happened to you? Did you ask her like I told you?"
"Aye" says Angus.."I asked her to sew on the wee button an she did, everything was goin fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread... Mr. MacDonald walked in...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank f**k I'm back to work tomorrow
Re: Another one
Tue Mar 23, 2010 3:44 pm
SAFETY TIPS FOR MEN WHO VISIT XXX WEBSITES
1. It is unsafe to lick your monitor while it is ON.
2. The orifices in the back of your monitor are NOT intended for participation in the LIVE sex show.
3. The fan in your computer's power supply is NOT a good place to cool your "heat of passion" (although, it would certainly be an enlightening experience)
4. Be prepared to replace your keyboard often if you enjoy "tickling the keys" with your manhood.
5. Semen IS electrically conductive.
SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN WHO VISIT XXX WEBSITES
1. No matter how big the guys Dick, on the screen, is; remember it's all done with smoke, mirrors, and a dildo. Don't bother drooling. And if you find yourself drooling remember to swallow, or spit whatever, often. Drool, on keyboards can cause shorts and is nasty to clean.
2. Plugging a dildo into the USB port will void the manufacturers warrantee.
3. To cool off your "heat of passion" take a shower and wash the sweat off your fat ass.
4. Keyboard cleaning kits do NOT work for sweaty, fat, chicks drool.
5. Vaginal juice is a very slippery substance; IF you spend a lot of time at XXX sites it is suggested you have a seat-belt installed on your computer chair and PLENTY of clean panties.
1. It is unsafe to lick your monitor while it is ON.
2. The orifices in the back of your monitor are NOT intended for participation in the LIVE sex show.
3. The fan in your computer's power supply is NOT a good place to cool your "heat of passion" (although, it would certainly be an enlightening experience)
4. Be prepared to replace your keyboard often if you enjoy "tickling the keys" with your manhood.
5. Semen IS electrically conductive.
SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN WHO VISIT XXX WEBSITES
1. No matter how big the guys Dick, on the screen, is; remember it's all done with smoke, mirrors, and a dildo. Don't bother drooling. And if you find yourself drooling remember to swallow, or spit whatever, often. Drool, on keyboards can cause shorts and is nasty to clean.
2. Plugging a dildo into the USB port will void the manufacturers warrantee.
3. To cool off your "heat of passion" take a shower and wash the sweat off your fat ass.
4. Keyboard cleaning kits do NOT work for sweaty, fat, chicks drool.
5. Vaginal juice is a very slippery substance; IF you spend a lot of time at XXX sites it is suggested you have a seat-belt installed on your computer chair and PLENTY of clean panties.