MY HANDS ARE ABSOLUTELY FREEZING One line Jokes Please

Told my wife earlier tonight that my hands were freezing, and she said "well keep out of the fridge you fat b*stard".

Fair play mate at least she,s honest,you cant fault her for that,honesty is the best policy.

What is the best thing about shagging 23 year olds?


There are 20 of them

What is the best thing about shagging 23 year olds?


There are 20 of them

***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that you can now get 100 tampons for £1 in £ stretcher
... No Strings attached
... But for a limited period ONLY!
... A bloody good deal!

Micheal Jackson finds religion....

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Two elephants fell off a cliff....

Boom! Boom!

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger

what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

hheello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

What do you call an afghan virgin
Mever bin laid on

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Q .. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.

what animal has a c**t halfway up its back?



a policehorse

what has a woman and a hurricane got in common



when they come their wet and wild


and when they go they take half the f*cking house