PR`s impressive CV

Can you imagine what the riddlers next job application would look like?????

My name is Peter, I wish to apply for the post of chairman at your football club.
I have previously been in employment at Leeds United, Barnsley and most recently Cardiff City.
At my current employers I have been regarded as one of the finest chairmen in the business` history. I implemented strategies and cash flow ideas that can only be considered as unrivalled and unique. Most notably the "Golden ticket scheme", which was a magnificent way of bringing in finances a few days before Christmas from my customers. It truly was an idea that was welcomed by all the clubs customers, a few weeks later they all organised a march from their local public house in my honour to show their appreciation.
I strive to deliver the absolute best customer service which is why I give my personal mobile phone number to all. This is a great way of getting direct feedback from my fan base, to which i ensure I always reply.
I personally strive to ensure all the clubs finances are paid up to date and are in correct order,as a matter of fact we are currently in the middle of a substantial tax rebate from the Inland Revenue.
I single handedly provided my current employers with a new stadium which was delivered on time and on budget, thanks to my rock hard foundational business sense. As an after thought i decided to install under ground heating as we had a game called off in December, an issue I think should not happen with a 21st century sporting venue.
I can also hold board meetings with great dignity and loyalty to the club and ensure I answer all questions given to me by my shareholders.
I have also devised a way to oust any unruly local authors out of any club shops you may have.
I am very hands on too and have on occasion visited the playing staff while they are on their 15mins break at half time when they are losing to give them an inspirational speech.
I would consider myself to be a humble person and a very truthfull one at that too as I can provide if requested 22,000 references
My hobbies and interests are fish and fish tanks.
I cannot wait to start a new challenge and will no doubt bring to your club all my tricks of the trade.
I look forward to hearing from you
Peter.

well? it took me f*cking ages that come on mun comment read and rate lol

You have just done the work for him

I had a giggle at this line

"I personally strive to ensure all the clubs finances are paid up to date and are in correct order,as a matter of fact we are currently in the middle of a substantial tax rebate from the Inland Revenue."

I had a giggle at this line

"I personally strive to ensure all the clubs finances are paid up to date and are in correct order,as a matter of fact we are currently in the middle of a substantial tax rebate from the Inland Revenue."

It truly was an idea that was welcomed by all the clubs customers, a few weeks later they all organised a march from their local public house in my honour to show their appreciation.

Was another cracker!!!!

Don't forget to add that he single handedly got us to an FA Cup final.

how about adding
" i have, in my last employment implemented a tight lip policy stopping all club details making it to the press prior to appropriate release. which seems to be working well "