WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:29 pm
National tragedy broke out last weekend as Cardiff City's home fixture against Leicester City was postponed due to an alleged failure of the underground heating system installed at their new mega-football stadium. Fans vented their disgust as weekend plans went up in flames. Nigel Harris of Barry said "I cannot believe this. I have saved every penny this month for this match and was really looking forward to my Compass burger and Clarks pie. The kids are buggered now. I 'm not sure how they'll cope for lunch. My wife is going to have to learn to cook pretty fast. The last time she did that on a Saturday was in 1979 when we had Heinz Baked Beans over the camping gaz when the power went out."
Engineering professionals in the industry were left equally dumfounded as to how this stark event could have occurred. John Smith, editor of The Undersoil Heating Monthly announced his surprise when he claimed "This must be the first time I've heard of a brand new football stadium being built for such vast sums with undersoil heating only for it to fail when three inches of snow falls. It is well documented that, for example, Norwegian snow is a much tougher customer than British snow due to more tightly compacted H2O particles. Yet from our research it is clear that Norwegian football stadiums are much older, suffer much more regular severe weather patterns and still seem to handle it better. My guess is that it must be the failing levels of compression in the boiler's fluid subsystem. Whatever the reason for Cardiff City's ongoing issues, it appears to go against the fundamental principle of undersoil heating that when the weather goes cold the heating should come on."
Steve Borley, owner of CMB engineering and part-owner of Cardiff City defended the attack saying "Look I turned up this undersoil heating was designed by my team of Llanrumney boys and I don't like it when outsiders diss us. We're very proud of our work, and us Llanrumney boys stick together. Anyway, who is John Smith? Has he ever built a football stadium before? He's one of those bloody academics who prefers to pontificate than do anything about it. If I catches him dissing me again I'll get a bit vexed and I'll spark him out. Besides the fans need to chill out because Leon is looking at the problem and has told me that a dab of WD-40 on the copper pipes and we'll be right as rain again".
Club chairman Peter Ridsdale was more sanguine about the matter and later issued a statement saying: "We deeply regret the loss of the fixture on the weekend. The situation was unforeseen but it is being urgently dealt with in a professional manner. There is absolutely no truth in the circulating rumours that we are cutting engineering costs in order to protect our monthly cashflow. Cardiff City's finances are rock solid, and with this tsunami of money coming in from Malaysia we do not anticipate any further events of this kind and the fans can rest assured that winter fixtures will be 100% bulletproof in future." Paul Guy was not available for comment.
Fans from other groups indicated their discourse at what had happened. A representative from the Cardiff City Supporters Trust, Keith Morgan said "Clearly this is a matter for the Trust. The club is paying for an engineer and engineering equipment that has simply not delivered. Not that we're not busy or anything, but we have spent the last seven weeks, seven days a week 24/7 grilling the Cardiff City expenses receipts from 2009 and this engineer is clearly being paid too much. Why can't we choose the engineer ourselves? We've got plenty of unemployed engineers in the Trust and we can do it for free. We need to get the cost down. We shall be gathering our fans for an important vote at the Muni Club. For the fans who think they may struggle to stay awake for this meeting then bear in mind there will be free beer and sandwiches. We've also got Jason Bowen who will be turning up to give a speech about the one time when he actually tackled a player."
Elsewhere Dave Sugarman snapped "I don't do statements to the press nor the messageboard anymore as I'm far too busy for that bollocks. Anyway I'm building a mini four bed detached for my tarantulas. It is even going to get solar panels to get natural sunlight, and will have it's own eco-system out the backyard with a tropical jungle - it's the done thing in Rhiwbina these days. Anyway, if you really want to know what I think then read my friggin' blog. Don't you know about my personal blog for heaven's sake?".
However, dismay was not universal. When questioned about the matter, one fan off the street going by the name of 'Uncle Bob' responded "Undersoil heater? Yep definitely. Good horse. He'll be running today in fact. 3 o'clock at Epsom. 3/1. Double up. Anyways got to go mate, I needs a dump. Ta-ra".
The matter also attracted attention headlines elsewhere in the media.....
The Sun: "Eh up can I fix your old boiler, love? City's cold undercarriage needs a little touching up"
Financial Times: "Cardiff City's temporary cashflow problems escalate - fixture delay prevents profitable footfall"
Daily Mail: "Smelly immigrants to blame for shoddy work on Taffy club's dodgy engineering"
South Wales Echo: "Why did the City's heating system fail? Messageboard spotty 15 year olds to blame" by Steve Tucker
The Independent: "Cardiff City's undersoil heating system fails on first test. Proof that an EU-wide uniform boiler standards are needed"
Daily Mirror: "Footballers and their hard working families get a deserved Christmas break as boiler fails"
The Guardian: "Fixture crisis at Cardiff City proves heating inequality exists amongst UK football clubs. Why football capitalism is failing our fans" David Conn investigates
The Morning Star: Private sector failure again as football club's undersoil heating system breaks down. Revolutionary nationalisation of football clubs needed
The Daily Express: "Single parent upbringing suspected of causing engineer's poor attitude at Cardiff City"
[Updated on: Mon, 21 December 2009 19:42]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We are Cardiff City. You are gonna get it hard. No vaseline.
Engineering professionals in the industry were left equally dumfounded as to how this stark event could have occurred. John Smith, editor of The Undersoil Heating Monthly announced his surprise when he claimed "This must be the first time I've heard of a brand new football stadium being built for such vast sums with undersoil heating only for it to fail when three inches of snow falls. It is well documented that, for example, Norwegian snow is a much tougher customer than British snow due to more tightly compacted H2O particles. Yet from our research it is clear that Norwegian football stadiums are much older, suffer much more regular severe weather patterns and still seem to handle it better. My guess is that it must be the failing levels of compression in the boiler's fluid subsystem. Whatever the reason for Cardiff City's ongoing issues, it appears to go against the fundamental principle of undersoil heating that when the weather goes cold the heating should come on."
Steve Borley, owner of CMB engineering and part-owner of Cardiff City defended the attack saying "Look I turned up this undersoil heating was designed by my team of Llanrumney boys and I don't like it when outsiders diss us. We're very proud of our work, and us Llanrumney boys stick together. Anyway, who is John Smith? Has he ever built a football stadium before? He's one of those bloody academics who prefers to pontificate than do anything about it. If I catches him dissing me again I'll get a bit vexed and I'll spark him out. Besides the fans need to chill out because Leon is looking at the problem and has told me that a dab of WD-40 on the copper pipes and we'll be right as rain again".
Club chairman Peter Ridsdale was more sanguine about the matter and later issued a statement saying: "We deeply regret the loss of the fixture on the weekend. The situation was unforeseen but it is being urgently dealt with in a professional manner. There is absolutely no truth in the circulating rumours that we are cutting engineering costs in order to protect our monthly cashflow. Cardiff City's finances are rock solid, and with this tsunami of money coming in from Malaysia we do not anticipate any further events of this kind and the fans can rest assured that winter fixtures will be 100% bulletproof in future." Paul Guy was not available for comment.
Fans from other groups indicated their discourse at what had happened. A representative from the Cardiff City Supporters Trust, Keith Morgan said "Clearly this is a matter for the Trust. The club is paying for an engineer and engineering equipment that has simply not delivered. Not that we're not busy or anything, but we have spent the last seven weeks, seven days a week 24/7 grilling the Cardiff City expenses receipts from 2009 and this engineer is clearly being paid too much. Why can't we choose the engineer ourselves? We've got plenty of unemployed engineers in the Trust and we can do it for free. We need to get the cost down. We shall be gathering our fans for an important vote at the Muni Club. For the fans who think they may struggle to stay awake for this meeting then bear in mind there will be free beer and sandwiches. We've also got Jason Bowen who will be turning up to give a speech about the one time when he actually tackled a player."
Elsewhere Dave Sugarman snapped "I don't do statements to the press nor the messageboard anymore as I'm far too busy for that bollocks. Anyway I'm building a mini four bed detached for my tarantulas. It is even going to get solar panels to get natural sunlight, and will have it's own eco-system out the backyard with a tropical jungle - it's the done thing in Rhiwbina these days. Anyway, if you really want to know what I think then read my friggin' blog. Don't you know about my personal blog for heaven's sake?".
However, dismay was not universal. When questioned about the matter, one fan off the street going by the name of 'Uncle Bob' responded "Undersoil heater? Yep definitely. Good horse. He'll be running today in fact. 3 o'clock at Epsom. 3/1. Double up. Anyways got to go mate, I needs a dump. Ta-ra".
The matter also attracted attention headlines elsewhere in the media.....
The Sun: "Eh up can I fix your old boiler, love? City's cold undercarriage needs a little touching up"
Financial Times: "Cardiff City's temporary cashflow problems escalate - fixture delay prevents profitable footfall"
Daily Mail: "Smelly immigrants to blame for shoddy work on Taffy club's dodgy engineering"
South Wales Echo: "Why did the City's heating system fail? Messageboard spotty 15 year olds to blame" by Steve Tucker
The Independent: "Cardiff City's undersoil heating system fails on first test. Proof that an EU-wide uniform boiler standards are needed"
Daily Mirror: "Footballers and their hard working families get a deserved Christmas break as boiler fails"
The Guardian: "Fixture crisis at Cardiff City proves heating inequality exists amongst UK football clubs. Why football capitalism is failing our fans" David Conn investigates
The Morning Star: Private sector failure again as football club's undersoil heating system breaks down. Revolutionary nationalisation of football clubs needed
The Daily Express: "Single parent upbringing suspected of causing engineer's poor attitude at Cardiff City"
[Updated on: Mon, 21 December 2009 19:42]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We are Cardiff City. You are gonna get it hard. No vaseline.
Re: WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Tue Dec 22, 2009 6:35 pm
nice one 
Re: WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:21 pm
Re: WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:23 pm
I did'nt wright this lads it was on a cardiff city website! just pasted it and put it on here! The lads obviously got a lot of time on his hands to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:44 pm
Cheers Sam
Re: WHAT THE PRESS SAID ABOUT THE HEATING!!!!
Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:49 am
Cheered my morning up that. 