jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:48 pm
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a pint, and then asks him:
"What's your IQ"?
The man replies "150" why?
The robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics, spirituality, biomimicry, environmental issues, nano-technology and theology.
The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool".
He decides to test the robot. He leaves the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another pint.
Again, the robot serves him the perfect pint and asks him again, "What's your IQ"? The man responds, "about a 100".
Immediately the robot starts talking, about football, cricket, golf, supermodels, favourite fast foods, cars, and women's breasts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test.
He returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ"?
The man replies, "Er, 10, I think".
And the robot says... real slowly......
So................ u r .. ye ... gaun ....tae .. renew .. yer .. season .. ticket .. f u r ra swansea .. again .. next .. year"?
"What's your IQ"?
The man replies "150" why?
The robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics, spirituality, biomimicry, environmental issues, nano-technology and theology.
The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool".
He decides to test the robot. He leaves the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another pint.
Again, the robot serves him the perfect pint and asks him again, "What's your IQ"? The man responds, "about a 100".
Immediately the robot starts talking, about football, cricket, golf, supermodels, favourite fast foods, cars, and women's breasts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test.
He returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ"?
The man replies, "Er, 10, I think".
And the robot says... real slowly......
So................ u r .. ye ... gaun ....tae .. renew .. yer .. season .. ticket .. f u r ra swansea .. again .. next .. year"?
Re: jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:05 pm
The Little Builder
This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It’s true, and it makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to an empty building plot. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot. The young family’s 5 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking to the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her, her very own hard hat and gloves.
At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her ‘pay’ to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When she got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling about her ‘work’ on the building site, and the fact that she had a ‘pay packet’
“You must have worked very hard to earn all this” said the bank cashier, the little girl proudly replied. “I worked all last week with the men building a big house.” “My goodness gracious” said the cashier, “Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?
The little girl thought for a moment and said. “I think so, provided it doesn't piss down and those twats from Jewsons deliver the fuckin bricks on time.”
This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It’s true, and it makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to an empty building plot. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot. The young family’s 5 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking to the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her, her very own hard hat and gloves.
At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her ‘pay’ to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When she got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling about her ‘work’ on the building site, and the fact that she had a ‘pay packet’
“You must have worked very hard to earn all this” said the bank cashier, the little girl proudly replied. “I worked all last week with the men building a big house.” “My goodness gracious” said the cashier, “Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?
The little girl thought for a moment and said. “I think so, provided it doesn't piss down and those twats from Jewsons deliver the fuckin bricks on time.”
Re: jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:46 pm
Re: jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:53 pm
Re: jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:54 pm
I have a joke but its not as long winded as all urs....can i still write it on here???? 
Re: jokes Thread
Tue Jun 01, 2010 10:54 pm
hope no fucker on here drives for jewsons 