England Excuses Odds!

Here we go then England are in South Africa to pick up the cup that they've already won and truly believe is their property. However if they are stopped from bringing the cup home what will be their excuse? Here's the betting that the bookies don't offer...

Let down by one of their players - 1/1 evens (fav). It was the fault of one player in particular, if he hadn't got that red card or if he'd played properly then the cup was in the bag. This bet also covers players that didn't play through injury or didn't play because they weren't picked or weren't English or born yet.

Dirty cheating opponent player - 3/2 second fav. Even if the worlds best goal scorer is one on one with the England 'keeper blame can be given through intense and repeated replays from 14 different angles showing that the goal shouldn't have been allowed. And if that goal hadn't been allowed then they wouldn't have gone on to concede the two or three other goals in that game.

The England manager - 2/1. Always a great scapegoat for England losing. The tabloids are busy making up vegetable photos of the Tommy Cooper lookalike as we speak just in case.

The weather - 4/1. If all else fails blame the weather. How can we allow the WC to be played in a country that has sunshine?

Officials - 5/1. What were they doing, that was never a goal, neither were the other two! Again NASA technology is being brought in by the BBC to show through shed loads of angles and slow motion repeats that they were off side by at least 0.0005 mm and so they should be thrown out of the world cup and England reinstated.

Equipment - 7/1. The ball, the paint used on the lines or even the corner flags can be used to excuse an England loss.

The Fans - 8/1. A bit of confetti fluttered down from the top god stand and entered my eye causing me to toe poke the ball into row z during the penalty shootout.

The penalty shootout - 9/1. How can a game be decided in this way? Only a problem if they lose on penalties mind!

BBC pundits - 14/1. They failed to inspire the England team enough by not mentioning 1966 the right number of times. This world cup saw them only do 15,000 mentions of the time when they should have had a goal disallowed and received mass banning orders and FIFA fines for pitch invasions. In the friendly games that they just won 1966 was mentioned far more times resulting in better performances.

New technology not being used - 16/1. The computer technology is out there to prove that the ball didn't actually cross the line. If we had this in 1966 then.... oh, hang on a minute....

Annis or Gwyn - 20/1. Sod it, may as well blame them, they get blamed for everything else. Anyway it is their fault because if they hadn't supported us then we would have surely won.

We lost fair and square - 10000/1. For a mad punt you might fancy throwing your money away on England actually being good sports and keeping up that stiff upper lip with a "the better team won" admission. This would be in complete contrast to what will probably happen when they come home crying like a bunch of big girls boobies blaming anything and everything other than admit that they are just not good enough.

all of them 2/1

I'll have a tenner on the 5/1 prediction
funny post

wrong type of grass i recon

Equipment I reckon. That or the officials. Those bloody refs eh!