Sad Story!
Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:59 am
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday, when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations, requiring that family unity be maintained to the best degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England National Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone!
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations, requiring that family unity be maintained to the best degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England National Football Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone!
Re: Sad Story!
Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:19 am
Have You Ever Danced?
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.
The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... But... I've always wanted to."
There are a few lessons for us all here:-
Never be arrogant!
Don't waste ammunition!
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are!
Always, always make sure you know who has the power!
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid!
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.
The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector --not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... But... I've always wanted to."
There are a few lessons for us all here:-
Never be arrogant!
Don't waste ammunition!
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are!
Always, always make sure you know who has the power!
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid!
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
Re: Sad Story!
Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:55 am
These were genuine sentences in letters written to councils in UK !
============================================================================
1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow
2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6..My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7.. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8.. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9.. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are
plain filthy.
11.. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
13..Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.
14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15..I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16..The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
17...Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
so please send someone round to do something about it.
18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19..Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife.
20.. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction.
21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't
get BBC2.
22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
23..He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
take it any more.
============================================================================
1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow
2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6..My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7.. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8.. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9.. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are
plain filthy.
11.. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
13..Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.
14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15..I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16..The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
17...Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
so please send someone round to do something about it.
18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19..Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife.
20.. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction.
21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't
get BBC2.
22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
23..He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
take it any more.