Baz`s House Competition

Has Baz as made everone aware on this MB, he`s on holidays for a fortnight, as I live in the next street from him I am hoping to provide him with a welcome home suprise present, my suggestions are:

1 Give his house to a family of Lithuanian political asylum seekers who have 26 children

2 Demolish the house, tarmac over the remains and move in a group of gypsys with their caravans, horses, dogs etc

3 Simply burgle and ransack his house, selling anything of value at cash generators, and selling his fishing rods and marital aids on this MB. I will not however touch his collection of antique cuckoo, clocks their so precious to him.

4 Pay a group of local chavs, druggies, winos etc (easy to find in porth) to party in house, whilst trashing it, thereby decreasing its market value dramatically.

5 Just burn the house down and poison his koi carp.

Any other suggestions would be welcome, especially Mrs Ramsgates, the best suggestion will win a bottle of lambrini and ten richmond king size.

they all sound brilliant ideas...hard to choose

how about we give his house a change by taking out all the internal walls and and celling joists and brick up all the windows paint the outside blue so when he comes home he will think it is doctor whos tardis ...... you know how much of a fan he is / i think john evans would take the job on,

I'm from Merthyr so can help with all of the above.

Thanks for the offer Fish, I`ll be in touch soon.

Cheers

Jbbj

Hire a caravan put it in his garden , drape it in Swansea City flags and lines full of pegs and have a BBQ there full of Cardiff City fans wearing Jack shirts when he comes back off his hols. Whose that Geezer that went to the cricket with Baz and a few of you lads? I am sure he can organise some Jack shirts Then we can have a ritual burning of the shirts while doing the Ayottollah, I am sure Ahmadinejad would be proud . f**k me you would only need Sam there and it would be like the old days

Hire a caravan put it in his garden , drape it in Swansea City flags and lines full of pegs and have a BBQ there full of Cardiff City fans wearing Jack shirts when he comes back off his hols. Whose that Geezer that went to the cricket with Baz and a few of you lads? I am sure he can organise some Jack shirts Then we can have a ritual burning of the shirts while doing the Ayottollah, I am sure Ahmadinejad would be proud . f**k me you would only need Sam there and it would be like the old days

Now this I do like.

JBBJ

paint it in swansea colours with a big swan on the front

Brick up all his doors from the outside !

paint it in swansea colours with a big swan on the front

I like it Rob, his good name would be tarnished by this, as the Rhondda is a Jack free zone, and this would ruin his reputation (not that its that good locally anyway)

Jbbj

paint it in swansea colours with a big swan on the front

Brick up all his doors from the outside !

was going to say both of them

how about painting the front of his house st george colours

a for sale sign in the garden is quick and easy

get a mot faliure, put it outside his house jack it up take off the wheels and prop it on blocks

what was the outcome then ???????

what was the outcome then ???????

my house is black and white anyway

all of the above i end up doing myself after a bow session


there is a distinct smell of ky jelly lingering around here, milly has this got anything to do with you??????

he's got you sussed milly

Sorry about turning the house into a monkey sanctuary Baz. I hope your insurance people are not playing silly buggers.

If you need an hand with the decorating, Kelvin Darby is quite cheap. And I will go halves, with the cost thats only fair.

Did you find a kind, loving home for Cyrus the Orangutang ?

If you have`nt try Don May on the Parade.


Regards

Mr Bowen

Mr bowen,

the monkey is playing absolute bollocks here, we have now found out by extensive research that you do not feed it magners and faggots, it makes it very unstable. it has however defaced one of my antique digital watches by urinating and smothering it in centrepede feaces, please can you arrang collection as soon as possible


you ever loyal serving tennant


BAZ

Help is at hand fear not. My butler Cribbs will collect the aforementioned primate tomorrow morning and put it in his transit van. Cribbs will then deliver it, to a certain Mr Ridsdale who resides I believe in the Yorkshire area.

Mr Ridsdale is a keen "monkeyologist" who runs a charity retraining and rehoming monkeys.

Please send me a cheque for any damages to my usual address in Kings Cross.

JBBS

have you the same cardbord box or have you upgraded to a wendy house sir???

Its the Wendy House Baz, I share it with a crackhead called River and an elderly glaswegian streetdrinker called Tootsie, their both cross dressers, but we three have a great deal of fun together in the Wendy.

Wheres Mrs Ramsgate ? Ain`t heard from her/him since last Thursday.

Possibility that she/he as once again been sectioned under either the anti-terrorist or mental health acts.

JBBS