Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:31 pm
So I thought I'd let you guys know about the wedding... it's only fair we've had some very kind messages sent since I posted on here....
So we'd been planning this for months, now it's not easy to plan a wedding and every part must include room for two wheelchairs and her Mum & Dad's TANDEM wheelchair, but we did it!
I must admit I left most of the planning to the soon to be mother-in-law, My little stumpling was so nervous the morning of the wedding that her mother had slipped her some pills to calm her down...she was in over drive! Now taking pills on an empty stomach is never a good idea, so the one side of the church was my family, the other The Fish's..... now I hadn't met most of her family before this day so I was quite nervous... I really was worried there would be more wheel chairs....and it was bad enough as most of my time already was spent fixing punchers and WD-40ing the wheels!! Let me give a special mention to uncle "Skippy" top (only) man....I'll tell you about him another time!
So as I'm stood at the aisle waiting for the sound of rubber tires on wooded floor, her Dad was giving her away.... (Well the top half anyway as the hospital done the bottom half!!) Now instead of "walking" her up the aisle he had the genius idea to TOW her... he hitched the tow bar to his chair and led her down the aisle...my family's face was classic! Just as the vicar was about to start I look down at my Bride-to-be and notice a big bulge in her wedding top.... (No need for the whole dress so we done a deal and got the top half for half price! ) As the first few minutes go by I notice this getting bigger and bigger..... I couldn't wait and longer so I paused the wedding and asked her was she ok...she could only mutter something back to me...now she's "one of those" wonkies who can talk properly so I knew something was wrong! The pills her mother had given her we not agreeing with her tummy....her colostomy bag was filling by the second! I had to act quickly, I emptied into the holy water fountain......and wheeled her back to the spot, luckily we had a vicar who understood....he was what you would call a "NUGGET" one...he had NO ARMS OR LEGS!!! Now as you can imagine I'm looking at him with his brown gown on and a big massive cross on his belly...he looked like a HOT CROSS BUN!!!
Now at this point I wasn't sure whether to cancel the wedding due to the fact that she's off her trolley...or should I say wheelchair!.... or go ahead as it cost a fortune! After a quick chat with her mum we decided to continue...now the rest of the wedding was basically her grunting... back at the vicar. So we finished up signing the paperwork after the vicar...although I wish I took my own pen...the one out of the vicar's MOUTH had hardly no ink left!
We had booked the Royal legion for the after party as we told them her family were war heroes, funny enough they took one look at them and never asked for proof!
The night was wonderful!! We must have worn at least 1 inch of her tire tread with all the dancing we done! Great night, apart from when my brother thought it would be funny to get her Brother and the vicar wrecked and then race them up and down!!! FFS!
I remember at the end of the night how she thanked me for finally allowing her to ditch her maiden name of FISH... now it's not that she didn't like the name, it's just when she fell out of her wheelchair and would wiggle and squirm to get up, people would help her......ask her name.....then PISS THEMSELVES!! When she told them!
We left the wedding party hall....so happy... some of the family had tied cans of stella to her wheelchair as we set off on the road to a happy marriage!