Jokes Thread

Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway.

I couldn't get pasta.

I was taking the dog for a walk through the park the day other when some boy started throwing cheese at me.

I thought: "How dairy".

My wife suggested we should try poppers to spice up our sex life.

She now has a fanny full of confetti and we aren't talking.

I said to my best mate "My wife's off to the Carribean".

He said "Jamaica?".

I said "No, she went of her own accord"

Paddy "I've got a dog with no nose"
Mick "How does he smell?"
Paddy "f*cking awful"

I was taking the dog for a walk through the park the day other when some boy started throwing cheese at me.

I thought: "How dairy".

That's mature

I was taking the dog for a walk through the park the day other when some boy started throwing cheese at me.

I thought: "How dairy".

That's mature