I miss the innocence of football.

I know it is quite contradictory actually posting this on a messageboard, a place where people gather to discuss and forge social bonds about Cardiff City, but if I'm being honest, I miss the pure innocence and joy I had watching Cardiff City as a child.

When I was younger my dad used to take me down to Ninian Park and we'd sit in what was then the Family Enclosure (Lower Grandstand) and to me back then, that was THE pinnacle of my week. I lived for those 90 minutes every other week. And that was purely it. My interest in Cardiff City was solely based on 90 minutes. There was no worrying about HMRC debts, no worrying if we'd sign a certain player. I was a football fanatic, but fanatical in the sense that the only thing that mattered was the result after 90 minutes of play.

Now, as I'm older, I still live for those 90 minutes that can make or break your week, that can determine the outlook and attitude you'd carry around with you for the next seven days. But they've been tainted. Back then, if City won, I'd be happy for the next week. Now, if City win, I'm happy but am still worried that we've got a chairman incapable of telling the truth, that we still haven't paid the outstanding tax bill, that we still haven't strengthened. Things we're so much simpler back then. And enjoyable. My 90 minutes of joy has been tainted.

It's not that I wasn't aware of things back then, I was. They just seemed to matter much less. I don't know if it's the technological advances where we can sit at home yet still be gathered around, discussing Jones' lack of tactical nous, or the HMRC and AGM's/EGM's and other CCFC related topics that has brought on this doom and gloom outlook? I don't think so. I like this messageboard. I was a fan of CCMB until it fell into a precipice of personal abuse and bullshit. I've met some good people from both, not least the man this website takes its name from. And I would now consider Annis to be a good friend. Yes, they are responsible for sharing information, but it is not the fault of the posters that rarely is it ever good news. It is the fault at the hierarchy within our club.

Maybe it's because Ninian Park is gone. The place where my childhood memories of Perry, Stant, Dale, Earnie, Thorne and Jimmy Rollo were set. It is devastating seeing it being ripped down and without overstating it, I almost feel like a portion of my childhood has gone with it. CCS, although a cleaner, tidyer, less dilapidated place is cold. I find all new stadiums cold and bleak and CCS is no different.

And then, I look on here last night and I find that just because I didn't go to the game last night I am fickle. Nice. My support of Cardiff City over the years, since my first ever game at Ninian Park at 8 years old has been unwavering. I had a very good reason for not attending last night because as I've gotten older, there are things that matter in life more than football. My family, my children. Even if people chose not to go to the game because they 'couldn't be arsed', doesn't mean they should be slagged off for it. Well done to the near 7,000 who did attend, but it really doesn't make you any better than those who didn't. Thats a problem for me. We, as fans of Cardiff City are very quick to slag one and other off. Now, for me, I like to create an atmosphere, get singing and chanting. There are people around us at CCS who don't (as Annis will atest to) but I don't slag them off for differing from me. I encourage them to join in, but if they don't, thats very much their decision.

I don't know what it is but I just don't enjoy football anymore. I love Cardiff City, and I love watching them play, but 'football' and everything that surrounds it, i've fallen out of love with. I can't watch any game not involving Cardiff City anymore. I used to watch Cardiff on saturdays, plus two live games on sky on sundays. Now I can't be bothered. I'd rather take the kids for a Sunday dinner now, and have a football free sabbath.

I hope one day that I'll get the joy back, the same joy I had as a child watching games at Ninian Park with my dad. Maybe that will happen when we get rid of Ridsdale and get a chairman who is transparent and runs the club as it needs to, and deserves to be run. I hope it comes back. I hope I can get back to the days where the only thing I worry about is the 90 minutes a week and the result at the end of it.

I know the feeling, I feel much the same. Never mind it could be worse you could be a QPR fan look at what this poor bugger has to say (found this on the other board) - cacked myself laughing, cheered me up no end, hope it works for you too.

"I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dog**** under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but moreso than that - football is just properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money. It's no more exciting that Nameless **** getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid ****ing face. I hate that Joe Cole's tongue is never in his mouth, the downsy spacker. I hate John Terry being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.

I hate Harry ****ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp.. And the Wii.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks a lot for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it's amazing.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrenson for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer' before EVERY ****ING TOURNAMENT!

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop ****ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or Bradford.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. **** me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start."

Quality or what?

Couldn't agree more. I've posted a few times before about having fallen out of love with football myself for a long time and although I will always love CCFC, football as a whole definitley isn't the same anymore. The corporate and financial infestation of sport sickens me, whilst the glory seekers who know nothing about the game and jump on bandwagons simply to say "I was there" etc just increases my disdain at what has and is happening. I'm quite sure that such candour would be ripped to shreds by certain people on certain boards, but I can do nothing but agree with every word you said, excellent post.

Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue just to earn enough money to buy bovril at half time. We had two bits of cold gravel to bribe our way in, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years just to buy a programme, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife if City lost.

I totally agree about the comment relating to lower league player's great goals being ignored compared to Premiership goals. I remember Marco Gabbiadini scored an absolute screamer for Northampton at Ninian Park at the start of this millennium (or maybe the end of the 90s). He lobbed our keeper from the half way line when our keeper wasn't far off his line and everyone in the stadium applauded Gabbiadini. Did he get a rave review? Did he f**k!

yes quality
you forgot the line i hate that f*cking peter ridsdale,for all his bullshit!

That's inspired me to do a little list of my own.

I hate that Robert Earnshaw remains probably the most underrated player to play in the Premiership.

I hate that Jason Koumas stayed with f*cking Wigan. In fact, I f*cking hate that Wigan are in the Premiership ahead of us/Newcastle/WBA/Nott'm Forest.

I hate Owen Coyle for taking a sideways step.

I hate that c**t Sullivan for being him.

I hate that Lee Trundle has played for the unholy trinity.

I hate that the Red Shite will probably win the UEFA Cup and qualify for next year's Champions League.
In fact I just hate the fact that Liverpool FC exist. Twats to a man.

I hate that Dave Jones can't see what any of us can, and that he always stands with his arms folded against the dugout leaving Terry Burton to do all the work.

I hate that Joe Ledley's been shit for the last year and a half and doesn't seem to give a shit about signing a new contract with his hometown club.

I hate that we can NEVER, EVER hold a good lead.

I hate tennis, golf, rugby yawnion and cricket more though, and I will always love to see the City win away!

I'll see you all at the sportsdirect.com@StJames'Park Stadium... which is another thing I f*cking hate.

In a strange sort of way, I hope we don't make the Premiership. I think the whole point of the original topic will be re-inforced if we do go up and, what little is left of the 'old Cardiff City' will be lost to the media and become Sky's personal rent boy. For all the turmoil that's going on here at the moment, being in this division we still feel a bit like a proper football club.

I think, however, that the QPR bloke has a good point about Garth Crooks though

c'mon boys whats going on i had to read war and peace to get this far


i hate our so called stadium manager and his f*cking bosses, shhort and sweet


ta

baz

c'mon boys whats going on i had to read war and peace to get this far


i hate our so called stadium manager and his f*cking bosses, shhort and sweet


ta

baz

I hate that I haven't got one of Baz's pens!!

its in my jacket for you

it has now become a very elite inner circle