Possible the WORST experience of my life.

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

I bet you had a sly grope of her minge and then you monkey faced her

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

I bet you had a sly grope of her minge and then you monkey faced her

Nah mate! Lets be real here,

I angry mexican'd her

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

I bet you had a sly grope of her minge and then you monkey faced her

Nah mate! Lets be real here,

I angry mexican'd her

What !!! You stuck a worm up her arse????
You nawteecunt

What !!! You stuck a worm up her arse????
You nawteecunt

Nah mate, after pulling out I threw salsa in her eyes then kicked her in the genitals

What !!! You stuck a worm up her arse????
You nawteecunt

Nah mate, after pulling out I threw salsa in her eyes then kicked her in the genitals

So you admit you rode the minger

Baker, you're an awful man for one man

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

You'll have a far worse experience young Baker me lad when Harry catches up with you. Dissing Mrs Harry Ramsgate in such an uncouth manner

you just know she is going to sit on far worse in your dreams tonight

It's called karma Baker boy

You took the piss out of that fat girl singing on you tube the other day.............

Karma mate

You'll learn

One day when you grow up

Whay goes 'round comes 'round

It's called karma Baker boy

You took the piss out of that fat girl singing on you tube the other day.............

Karma mate

You'll learn

One day when you grow up

Whay goes 'round comes 'round

YEAH MATE I AGREE WITH YOU YEAH COS IM IMMATURE YEAH OF COURSE.

you just know she is going to sit on far worse in your dreams tonight

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

I don't know how the hell you didn't say anyhing! I'm pretty placid really and more often than not would probably bite my tongue in a potentially confrontational situation (unless i'm pissed lol) but if a creature like what you describe did that to me I'm 100% certain I'd have told the fat , stinking bushpig to get the f**k off my lap immediately!

8 miles as well? Jesus Christ! Promise me you'll never let anything like that happen again. Dear dear.

Sat on your lap? Did she say anything during the journey? I have to say, no matter how bad she was, I would've ended up with a hard on. Just can't help it.

Hang on, why didn't you just get up and let her sit there...?

On the Brecon > Hereford bus today and it was absolutely Jam-packed. We got to Kingston and this middle-aged chavvy woman came on the bus, and it was so packed there were no standing bars left on the bus so guess what happens....

This woman, who must have not washed her hair since she was born as it was so greasy, she smelt of piss and fags, had dirt all over her clothes and clearly had one too many McDonalds just SAT ON MY f*cking LAP.

My mate Alex who was sat next to me obviously couldn't contain his laughter and for the next 8 miles she was there, infesting my lap with her dire smell, I could have cried

I'm too bloody nice to tell her to get the f**k off my lap, she just says "SORRY LUV" and sits on my lap.

I've had 3 showers now and cannot get rid of the smell.

You sound a tad bitter....... did she turn you down?

Sat on your lap? Did she say anything during the journey? I have to say, no matter how bad she was, I would've ended up with a hard on. Just can't help it.

Hang on, why didn't you just get up and let her sit there...?

Hahaha, great response. I'm the same. I just randomly get erections on public transport because the vibrations tickle my gonads. It's something I can't help.

Sat on your lap? Did she say anything during the journey? I have to say, no matter how bad she was, I would've ended up with a hard on. Just can't help it.

Hang on, why didn't you just get up and let her sit there...?

Hahaha, great response. I'm the same. I just randomly get erections on public transport because the vibrations tickle my gonads. It's something I can't help.

That or it's the conductor.

Sat on your lap? Did she say anything during the journey? I have to say, no matter how bad she was, I would've ended up with a hard on. Just can't help it.

Hang on, why didn't you just get up and let her sit there...?

Hahaha, great response. I'm the same. I just randomly get erections on public transport because the vibrations tickle my gonads. It's something I can't help.

That or it's the conductor.

Trains are the best. But yeah, not really because public transport, just in general. Especially if there's a bit of contact going on..! Random girl (well not random, but just a mate) sat on my lap in the common room cos there were no seats. Instant boner. I'd like to think it's the expected thing.

Hahaha, great response. I'm the same. I just randomly get erections on public transport because the vibrations tickle my gonads. It's something I can't help.

That or it's the conductor.

Trains are the best. But yeah, not really because public transport, just in general. Especially if there's a bit of contact going on..! Random girl (well not random, but just a mate) sat on my lap in the common room cos there were no seats. Instant boner. I'd like to think it's the expected thing.

good to see you here young man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF9IxqtiSyw

Good to be here.

I think it is the expected thing Sheik! Like on Soccer AM they have the Lap of Onuoha which clearly insinuates that by sitting on his lap the Soccerette is subjecting to some Onuoha boner love.

:mrgreen:

Good to be here.

Oh not you

I feel for you Baker theres nothing worst than no kissing when having sex, makes you feel dirty afterwards, no wonder your pissed off.

Serious question - Can you 'Monkeyface' a monkey..? Or is it called something else..?

Serious question - Can you 'Monkeyface' a monkey..? Or is it called something else..?

Why would it be called something else? Its just more authentic, the "real-deal" you might say , if you get to do it with a real monkey.

No, then it just becomes blowing your load on a monkey's face and throwing pubes on it.

Serious question - Can you 'Monkeyface' a monkey..? Or is it called something else..?

Why would it be called something else? Its just more authentic, the "real-deal" you might say , if you get to do it with a real monkey.

I'm gonna make that happen...

Serious question - Can you 'Monkeyface' a monkey..? Or is it called something else..?

Why would it be called something else? Its just more authentic, the "real-deal" you might say , if you get to do it with a real monkey.

I'm gonna make that happen...

nah think about it they got a hairy face the effect will be shite as opposed to a young hairless face,like Bakers, crack on Splott

:mrgreen:

Good to be here.

Oh not you

I've been here ages. Quietly. In the shadows. With my nob out. Just like your elderly admirer will be next time you catch a bus.

Serious question - Can you 'Monkeyface' a monkey..? Or is it called something else..?

Why would it be called something else? Its just more authentic, the "real-deal" you might say , if you get to do it with a real monkey.

I'm gonna make that happen...

Make sure you put it up on YouTube for us all to see then buttie