I cancelled my appointment at ONE LINE JOKES PLEASE

the sperm bank today.

I told them "I couldn't come"

the sperm bank today.

I told them "I couldn't come"

the sperm bank today.

I told them "I couldn't come"

Just as well-i've heard they are in a bit of a sticky situation thanks to the credit crunch

The most dangerous job in the world requires you to wear trainers.

Collecting "Tiger Nuts"!!

Ask me if I am a tree
HUH?
Ask me if I am a tree
Why?
Ask me if I am a tree
Are you a tree?
NO

the sperm bank today.

I told them "I couldn't come"

Just as well-i've heard they are in a bit of a sticky situation thanks to the credit crunch

My mate went, he was late and when he got there he said he was sorry, as he had come on the bus. Another "banker" was not late,he came in the tube!

Ask me if I am a tree
HUH?
Ask me if I am a tree
Why?
Ask me if I am a tree
Are you a tree?
NO

I actually laughed out loud!

Ask me if I am a tree
HUH?
Ask me if I am a tree
Why?
Ask me if I am a tree
Are you a tree?
NO

I actually laughed out loud!

Thought people would like it

I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I been charged with shoplifting on two counts

I've been challenged by the kids next door to a water fight.


I'm just waiting for the kettle to boil

SOME f*cking WOMEN HAS JUST KNOCKED ON MY DOOR, SHE CLAIMS TO BE COLLECTING FOR THE LOCAL SPERM BANK.
I GAVE HER A RIGHT MOUTHFUL

My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.

It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!

Personally I think its bollocks!!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.

After 12 pints I talk shite and can't drive!

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"

"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick b*stard."

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?"

He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?

The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.

when i was young , i was scared of my dentist. he was a pedophile..........
begs the question of how many fillings did he give me !!

i got a job at a sperm bank once, had to work a week in hand.

my gay mate got sacked from the sperm bank, for drinking on the job.

i got a job at a sperm bank once, had to work a week in hand.

not my thing, working a week in hand, thats a job for wankers!!








(o dear, not my best )

i got a job at a sperm bank once, had to work a week in hand.

not my thing, working a week in hand, thats a job for wankers!!








(o dear, not my best )

everyone has an off day mate