ANY LATE NIGHT JOKES

My mates just gone and got himself a new Polish girlfriend,
but its taken her five days to hoover the house,
turns out shes a SLOVAK

13 year old swansea girl sent a letter to jeremy kyle.

dear jeremy all my friends have babies
and im the only one in my class not pregnant.
do you think my brothers are infertile?

What is the best thing about shagging 23 year olds



There are 20 of them

a man and wife were woken up at 3am by a bang on the door, the man answers and a drunk
is stood there in the pouring rain, he asks for a push bloke says no chance and goes back to
bed. his wife says you should be ashamed and cant you remember when we broke down and 2 guys helped us.
so he gets dressed and goes out into the rain,"hello are you still there ? do you need a push ? "yes" came the
reply, where are you ? he shouts, the drunk replies "over here on the f*cking swing"

Not so much a joke but funny as f**k all the same my mrs has decided to do a car boot sale tomorrow down bessemer road. So i leave her to it as you do (I was drinking heavily due to depression caused by PR) Anyway she was sorting stuff out etc then came "Andy do me a favour when i go up in the attic il pass stuff down ok babe" yeh no worries i answer, so im standing on the ladder she passes be a box full of old junk and i carry it down the ladder and put it to 1 side....Fair enough....next thing im at the bottom of the ladder just ready to go back up .......and Bang she's only slipped off 1 of the rafters and is dangling through the ceiling f*cking hell i was trying to be serious saying u ok etc pushed her legs back up through the hole she created and tried to be as nice as possible but i couldnt ........everytime i looked at her i started laughing she went to bed then

Funniest thing ive seen in months She wont here the end of it either

Not so much a joke but funny as f**k all the same my mrs has decided to do a car boot sale tomorrow down bessemer road. So i leave her to it as you do (I was drinking heavily due to depression caused by PR) Anyway she was sorting stuff out etc then came "Andy do me a favour when i go up in the attic il pass stuff down ok babe" yeh no worries i answer, so im standing on the ladder she passes be a box full of old junk and i carry it down the ladder and put it to 1 side....Fair enough....next thing im at the bottom of the ladder just ready to go back up .......and Bang she's only slipped off 1 of the rafters and is dangling through the ceiling f*cking hell i was trying to be serious saying u ok etc pushed her legs back up through the hole she created and tried to be as nice as possible but i couldnt ........everytime i looked at her i started laughing she went to bed then

Funniest thing ive seen in months She wont here the end of it either

is she still doing the boot sale

Three tampons are walking down the street, which one says hello?



None, they're all stuck up cunts.

Yeh She was lucky just bumped her shin........f*cking picture mate wish it was on film guaranteed £250

I was gunna give the "How careless can you be chat" But seeing that was too much! when i made sure she was ok i couldnt look at her without laughing ...i know but i couldnt help it, any of you would have done the same

Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his unionised cat, Early in the morning, They're still in bed a-snoring, And I'm wondering where's my post you f*cking tw*t.

Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his unionised cat, Early in the morning, They're still in bed a-snoring, And I'm wondering where's my post you f*cking tw*t.

TVB on here now?

Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his unionised cat, Early in the morning, They're still in bed a-snoring, And I'm wondering where's my post you f*cking tw*t.

TVB on here now?

Think so, i'm The Bob Banker Spanker on the other board

nice to meet you


I have posted on CCMB but dont bother anymore due to a small minority who think its funny to jump on a spelling or grammer mistake

i do read the board tho

nice to meet you


I have posted on CCMB but dont bother anymore due to a small minority who think its funny to jump on a spelling or grammer mistake

i do read the board tho

Excuse me mate, you spelt though wrong. Sort it out.




Sorry it had to be done

I never go on CCMB it aint as good as this

Yeh She was lucky just bumped her shin........f*cking picture mate wish it was on film guaranteed £250

I was gunna give the "How careless can you be chat" But seeing that was too much! when i made sure she was ok i couldnt look at her without laughing ...i know but i couldnt help it, any of you would have done the same

dont forget to give her a bag of plaster, trowel and steps when she gets home

Yeh She was lucky just bumped her shin........f*cking picture mate wish it was on film guaranteed £250

I was gunna give the "How careless can you be chat" But seeing that was too much! when i made sure she was ok i couldnt look at her without laughing ...i know but i couldnt help it, any of you would have done the same

dont forget to give her a bag of plaster, trowel and steps when she gets home

Ive already warned her about the bill dont you worry about that

nice to meet you


I have posted on CCMB but dont bother anymore due to a small minority who think its funny to jump on a spelling or grammer mistake

i do read the board tho

Excuse me mate, you spelt though wrong. Sort it out.

Damn i knew i'd get done for that

That is seriously why i dont bother tho

There are some good guys who post logic but why do i care what somebody had for breakfast? or if somebody just had a KFC... i dunno......(excuse lack of capital letters when using i...sorry I)




Sorry it had to be done

I never go on CCMB it aint as good as this

nice to meet you


I have posted on CCMB but dont bother anymore due to a small minority who think its funny to jump on a spelling or grammer mistake

i do read the board tho

Excuse me mate, you spelt though wrong. Sort it out.

Damn i knew i'd get done for that

That is seriously why i dont bother tho

There are some good guys who post logic but why do i care what somebody had for breakfast? or if somebody just had a KFC... i dunno......(excuse lack of capital letters when using i...sorry I)




Sorry it had to be done

I never go on CCMB it aint as good as this

It is ok ill forgive you

my wife just found out she was adopted.she was devastated,and kept asking why didnt they want me.
i took her in my arms and comfortedher .after a while ,still crying she kissed me and asked me to
make love to her.
in hindsight, taking her from behind, shouting WHO`S YOUR DADDY halfway through wasnt the best idea!